The Nerdy Guy’s Guide To Finding Love

The Nerdy Guy’s Guide To Finding Love

Be Interested. Be Daring. Be Equals.
115
views

It has long been tradition for Jews to put an emphasis on education; you’ll more likely find a Jew pursuing an MBA over the NBA. High school sports may rule much of the country, but our “Friday Night Lights” are a bit different.

The positive impact of our scholastic aptitude is being able to take better care of our families. The negative impact is being so nebbish that we have trouble finding someone to start that family.

I know all this because I was that guy. Throughout high school, I was rejected more often than a short Jewish guy playing basketball post 1950s. I turned all that around and found a beautiful, smart and successful wife by following a simple formula. Well, some things didn’t change…I still can’t play basketball very well.

My simple formula? Be Interested. Be Daring. Be Equals.

Be Interested

It is instinct, when trying to impress a date, to tell them all the wonderful things you’ve done with your life. But you wouldn’t hand a date a resume – so why do it verbally? Yes, you do need to stand out from the herd of guys pursuing her. But, the way to do that isn’t to talk about how much money you make or how many countries you’ve been to, but rather, it’s to listen.

Let’s shift your perspective. If you were on a job interview, you’d be trying to impress your prospective boss. But would they be trying to impress you? No. They’d be comfortable, and asking you questions – because it’s their job to find someone who is the right fit. So on a date, it’s your choice which side of the interview desk to sit on – why not also be the one asking the questions?

If both of you are interested (instead of interesting), the conversation will flow freely. You will actually get to know your date instead of them simply being a sounding board for your accomplishments. And it doesn’t hurt to say her name every so often. It’s a nice reminder that you weren’t too busy thinking about yourself to remember it.

Be Daring

Survival instinct attracts women to bad boys, because bad boys are tough, and tough survives in a post-apocalyptic world. Good news – we’re not going post apocalyptic for at least another few years, so don’t start shoving kids into lockers. Especially if you’re 30, you’d probably get arrested.

The main thing that separates the naughty from the nebbish is fear. Coincidentally, that’s also what separates the nebbish from the nuptials. I am not at all suggesting that you take her bungee jumping, or even on a picnic in a bad neighborhood. I’m suggesting that you don’t let fear hold you back from conversation.

Years ago, I saw a speaker whose basic premise was that you should never let fear stop you, as long as you don’t do anything that would harm yourself or others. I use that premise to guide my conversations. If you are afraid of bringing up a topic that might offend her, do it anyway! If she’s offended, well, it wasn’t going to work out. And if she’s not, you may have opened a window to an important topic that no one else was brave enough to open. Safe is boring. And boring is deliriously unattractive.

You already have a sensible side that shows you’re the smart choice. It wouldn’t hurt to show you’re the fun choice, too.

Be Equals

From the time that Jacob worked 14 years just to marry Rachel, we have been putting our women on pedestals (which is a great way to attract a high-maintenance woman who wants a subservient man). But if you’re looking for someone whose last name is not Kardashian, start thinking of her as an equal.

I know, I know – you’ve always believed in equal rights and equal pay. But how about equal conversation? Here’s a simple example.

You are setting up a first date. Whether you met on Loveawake.com, or on the street, the situation is the same. Here’s someone you like but aren’t completely comfortable with yet, so the next step is to meet and talk more. You text back and forth. After you’ve set the time and place, she agrees and says “See you tomorrow!” What’s your next move? Nothing.

You wouldn’t double confirm with a friend – why with a date? You’re just trying to be polite, but it comes off as obsessive. Add up a few of these little pedestal-putting moves, and you’ll be working in the fields seven more years without a wife.

And please take this the right way – I am not at all suggesting you treat her poorly. Treat her well – just as you would treat a friend well.

Will all of this work? Well, I am marrying a way-too-hot woman, yet have a fantasy baseball team, an obsession with computers and a penchant for discussing American history. You tell me.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

Popular Right Now

9 Eligible Princes You Need To Know About Now That Prince Harry Is Off The Market

You too could have a Meghan Markle fairytale
413571
views

Prince Harry's royal wedding is officially over and there won't be another British royal wedding for quite some time now, as Prince George is way too young to start thinking about that. Fortunately, there are plenty of other countries with plenty of other princes that are still eligible bachelors at the moment. Lucky for you, I did my research and compiled a list of all the eligible princes you need to know about know that Prince Harry has tied the knot with Meghan Markle.

1. Prince Louis of Luxembourg (31)

Prince Louis is the third son of the Grand Duke Henri and Duchess Maria Theresa of Luxembourg. He has recently become a bachelor again after his separation with his wife of 10 years, Princess Tessy.

Fun Fact: He graduated from Richmond, The American International University of London with a BA in Communications. He can also speak Luxembourgish (the fact that's even a language is fun fact by itself), French, German, and English fluently.

2. Prince Sebastien of Luxembourg (26)

Prince Sebastien is the youngest child of the Grand Duke Henri and Duchess Maria Theresa of Luxembourg, so if you marry him, you'll probably never actually be queen because he's pretty far removed from the throne. However, he's relatively young and single, so best of luck.

Fun Fact: For some bizarre reason, this prince actually went to college in Ohio. He played rugby and graduated from Franciscan University of Steubenville in 2015. Now, he is back in his home country and is an officer in the Luxembourg Army.

3. Prince Phillipos of Greece and Denmark (34)

You read that correctly, Prince Phillipos is the prince of not one, but two countries. He is the youngest son of King Constantine and Queen Anne Marie of Greece and Denmark. Unfortunately, Greece abolished their monarchy, so he's a prince in name only there.

Fun Fact: Like Prince Sebastien, Prince Phillipos also went to college in the United States. He earned his B.A. in foreign relations from Georgetown University in 2008. Fortunately, for us American girls, he is actually still living in the US and he works in New York City as an analyst at Ortelius Capital.

4. Prince Albert of Thurn and Taxis (34)

Ever heard of Thurn and Taxis? No? Me neither. Anyways, Prince Albert is from the House of Thurn and Taxis, which is essentially a very old German aristocratic family. He is the son of Prince Johannes XI of Thurn and Taxis and Countess Gloria of Schonburg Glauchau. His family is well known for their breweries and castles, so unless you're gluten-free, you can't really complain.

Fun Fact: He's not just a prince. He's also a racecar driver and 10 years ago he was ranked 11th on Forbes Magazine's List of The 20 Hottest Young Royals.

5. Prince Mateen of Brunei (26)

Prince Mateen is basically like all the guys you already know, except he's royalty. He's the prince of Brunei, which is a small country on the island of Borneo, south of Vietnam. He is one of the five sons of Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah, and he also has seven sisters. Maybe that's a little different than the guys you know, but one thing he takes very seriously, just like most frat guys, is his Instagram.

Fun Fact: Mateen enjoys playing polo, flying in his private plane, cuddling cute wild animals, and keeping up his Insta game with 890k followers. You can follow him @tmski.

6. Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum of Dubai (35)

Sheikh Hamdan also has a killer Instagram with 6.3 million followers. Anyways, Sheikh Hamdan is the billionaire crown prince of Dubai and the second son of Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, who is the prime minister of the United Arab Emirates and essentially the king of Dubai (Emir). He's actually next in line for the throne because his older brother died in 2015.

Fun Fact: Hamdan's hobbies include skydiving, zip lining, and diving, just to name a few, so if you're an adrenaline junkie, Sheikh Hamdan is the prince for you.

7. Prince Hussein of Jordan (23)

Prince Hussain is the son of the extremely beautiful, Queen Rania and Abdullah II of Jordan and next in line for the Jordanian throne. At 23, he's already a second lieutenant in the Jordanian Armed Forces and he was the youngest person ever to chair a UN Security Council Meeting


Fun Fact: Like Prince Phillippos, Prince Hussain also graduated from Georgetown University in Washington D.C.. Also, like Prince Mateen and Prince Hamdan, he's Insta famous with 1.3 million followers and you can follow him @alhusseinjo.

8. Prince Constantine-Alexios of Greece and Denmark (19)

Like Prince Phillipos, Prince Constantine-Alexios also has two countries. Lucky for us though, he is also living in the US right now attending Georgetown University in Washington D.C. (like pretty much every other prince, amirite?) He is the oldest son of Crown Princess Marie-Chantal and Crown Prince Pavlos of Greece.

Fun Fact: He's Prince William's godson, so that's pretty neat. However, if that wasn't cool enough, you might like to know that this Greek/Danish prince was actually born in New York. Oh yeah, you can also follow him on Instagram @alexiosgreece where he has 88.7k followers.

9. Prince Joachim of Belgium (26)

Prince Joachim of Belgium, Archduke of Austria-Este is the third child of Lorenz, Archduke of Austria-Este and Princess Astrid of Belgium. Although he bears the title, "Prince of Belgium," he is also Archduke of Austria-Este, Prince Royal of Hungary and Bohemia, and Prince of Modena. Unfortunately, he'll probably never actually be king in any of these countries as he is ninth in line to the Belgian throne.

Fun Fact: Prince Joachim has degrees in economics, management, and finance, but he decided to join the Nautical School in Brugge after completing college and is currently an officer in the Belgian Navy.

Hope is not lost for all you girls dreaming of finding a Prince Charming that's literally a prince. After reviewing the data, my best advice is to transfer to Georgetown where princes are basically around every corner.

Cover Image Credit: @meghantheduchessofsussexstyle/Instagram

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Poetry On Odyssey: The Room

It is difficult to let go of childhood traumas, but if you don't, you will never be able to move on to a healthy life.

212
views

Can you hear it?

The Sound of Silence.

I can. There I am.

Back in the little, old cube.

It's bland;

Only a single light bulb decorates the Room.

Shush….

It takes me back to When.

I close my eyes.

There it is again.

The Silence.

It echoes.

It aches.

I open my eyes to a small child.

He hunches his body in a corner.

With his little shuttering voice, he speaks,

They're coming.\n\nThey're coming.

Who's coming?

I ask.

The Monsters,The Monsters,"

He replies.

Over and over he repeats:

They're coming.

They're coming.

The Monsters are coming.

Each time, his whisper grows louder.

Each time, his voice grows firmer.

Then, he stops.

I slowly approach the corner where the child sits.

His figure is so small and meek.

He is probably no more than five.

I grab his shoulder.

I turn his face my way.

What I discover is…

Appalling.

His eye sockets are shallow.

They are deprived of a soul.

Yet

They cry blood.

His face is sickly pale.

His dry lips part.

Then he speaks:

They're here.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner.

Cover Image Credit:

https://www.pexels.com/photo/alone-black-and-white-boy-child-551590/

Related Content

Facebook Comments