The Nerdy Guy’s Guide To Finding Love

The Nerdy Guy’s Guide To Finding Love

Be Interested. Be Daring. Be Equals.
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It has long been tradition for Jews to put an emphasis on education; you’ll more likely find a Jew pursuing an MBA over the NBA. High school sports may rule much of the country, but our “Friday Night Lights” are a bit different.

The positive impact of our scholastic aptitude is being able to take better care of our families. The negative impact is being so nebbish that we have trouble finding someone to start that family.

I know all this because I was that guy. Throughout high school, I was rejected more often than a short Jewish guy playing basketball post 1950s. I turned all that around and found a beautiful, smart and successful wife by following a simple formula. Well, some things didn’t change…I still can’t play basketball very well.

My simple formula? Be Interested. Be Daring. Be Equals.

Be Interested

It is instinct, when trying to impress a date, to tell them all the wonderful things you’ve done with your life. But you wouldn’t hand a date a resume – so why do it verbally? Yes, you do need to stand out from the herd of guys pursuing her. But, the way to do that isn’t to talk about how much money you make or how many countries you’ve been to, but rather, it’s to listen.

Let’s shift your perspective. If you were on a job interview, you’d be trying to impress your prospective boss. But would they be trying to impress you? No. They’d be comfortable, and asking you questions – because it’s their job to find someone who is the right fit. So on a date, it’s your choice which side of the interview desk to sit on – why not also be the one asking the questions?

If both of you are interested (instead of interesting), the conversation will flow freely. You will actually get to know your date instead of them simply being a sounding board for your accomplishments. And it doesn’t hurt to say her name every so often. It’s a nice reminder that you weren’t too busy thinking about yourself to remember it.

Be Daring

Survival instinct attracts women to bad boys, because bad boys are tough, and tough survives in a post-apocalyptic world. Good news – we’re not going post apocalyptic for at least another few years, so don’t start shoving kids into lockers. Especially if you’re 30, you’d probably get arrested.

The main thing that separates the naughty from the nebbish is fear. Coincidentally, that’s also what separates the nebbish from the nuptials. I am not at all suggesting that you take her bungee jumping, or even on a picnic in a bad neighborhood. I’m suggesting that you don’t let fear hold you back from conversation.

Years ago, I saw a speaker whose basic premise was that you should never let fear stop you, as long as you don’t do anything that would harm yourself or others. I use that premise to guide my conversations. If you are afraid of bringing up a topic that might offend her, do it anyway! If she’s offended, well, it wasn’t going to work out. And if she’s not, you may have opened a window to an important topic that no one else was brave enough to open. Safe is boring. And boring is deliriously unattractive.

You already have a sensible side that shows you’re the smart choice. It wouldn’t hurt to show you’re the fun choice, too.

Be Equals

From the time that Jacob worked 14 years just to marry Rachel, we have been putting our women on pedestals (which is a great way to attract a high-maintenance woman who wants a subservient man). But if you’re looking for someone whose last name is not Kardashian, start thinking of her as an equal.

I know, I know – you’ve always believed in equal rights and equal pay. But how about equal conversation? Here’s a simple example.

You are setting up a first date. Whether you met on Loveawake.com, or on the street, the situation is the same. Here’s someone you like but aren’t completely comfortable with yet, so the next step is to meet and talk more. You text back and forth. After you’ve set the time and place, she agrees and says “See you tomorrow!” What’s your next move? Nothing.

You wouldn’t double confirm with a friend – why with a date? You’re just trying to be polite, but it comes off as obsessive. Add up a few of these little pedestal-putting moves, and you’ll be working in the fields seven more years without a wife.

And please take this the right way – I am not at all suggesting you treat her poorly. Treat her well – just as you would treat a friend well.

Will all of this work? Well, I am marrying a way-too-hot woman, yet have a fantasy baseball team, an obsession with computers and a penchant for discussing American history. You tell me.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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100 Of The Best Vines Of All Time

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Not to be dramatic, but the Vine app was the best thing to ever happen to me.

The Vine app truly understood me and my extremely odd sense of humor. When it was shut down, I felt like a part of me shut down with it. Luckily, I still have the ability to reflect on the good times that I had with Vine. Although there aren't any new Vine videos keeping my spirit alive, the Vine videos from the past are enough to keep me going.

This is way overdue, but here are the 100 best Vines to ever exist (in no particular order).

1. You better stop.

2. Come get y'all juice.

3. WTF is up Kyle.

4. That is NOT correct.

5. Mr. Postman.

6. Good evening.

7. This is your space, this is your area.

8. Honestly not sure what to title this one, but it's great so.

9. Someone help Elmo.

10. Pst...what?

11. Can I get a waffle?

12. Welcome back to Jesus Christ Hotline.

13. Oooooh, my boy going to school.

14. Lebron James.

15. #1 Dad.

16. Two bros chillin' in the hot tub.

17. Iz the fourth of July.

18. You have to say that you're fine and you're not really fine.

19. Tweaka Tweaka.

20. Hi, welcome to Chili's.

21. What up, I'm Jared.

22. If you wanna be a dog, RUFF.

23. When you think you look fresh, but your fish disagrees.

24. Rat in Walmart.

25. I'm dying... without me?

26. White ppl will turn anything into a casserole.

27. So you just gonna bring me a birthday gift on my birthday to my birthday party on my birthday with a birthday gift.

28. You want a french fry? Eat a french fry.

29. ifyoulikemakingloveatmidnight.

30. Ms. Keisha.

31. Girl you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal.

32. My cinnamon apple.

33. Two shots of vodka.

34. Whoever threw that paper.

35. Wow.

36. Do the math.

37. Rip your face off.

38. Fed up teacher.

39. You can't kill me.

40. Look at me now snake.

41. Walking a duck.

42. No matter when you pause this one, it's hilarious.

43. I don't even understand this one.

44. I dropped my hot pocket.

45. I thought you were American.

46. I can't swim.

47. I wanna be a cowboy.

48. I look like Mona Lisa.

49. Look at this graph.

50. Yungman.

51. Squidward dabbing

52. Living with Nicholas Cage.

53. If Tinder had video profiles.

54. Why you always lying.

55. Chicken wing ch-chi-chicken wing.

56. Uh my chicle.

57. Love the Nickleback version.

58. Any excuse to nae nae.

59. I want to be famous.

60. That's my opinion.

61. There she goes.

62. I have to restart my potatoes.

63. And they don't stop coming.

64. Cat horn.

65. Who is she.

66. The bob.

67. Summertime.

68. Do I look like.

69. Nice Ron.

70. Mom hearing 'Only' by Nicki Minaj for the first time.

71. Happy fourth of July.

72. I'm washing me and my clothes.

73. Nickel the creatorback.

74. Give me your money.

75. U stoopid.

76. Shrek at school.

77. Patricia honey can you be quiet.

78. No baby.

79. You've got a big storm coming.

80. Out shopping with my coven.

81. Extreme makeover home edition.

82. They were roommates.

83. White girl trying to remember the day she was born.

84. xoxo, gossip girl.

85. Big time rush.

86. Scared grandma throwing milk.

87. Suicide fairy.

88. Zoey 101 microwave.

89. When you leave your makeup on after a night out.

90. Crazy skateboarding tricks.

91. Noodle head.

92. Under all that makeup.

93. Marriage goals.

94. Boy putting on lipstick.

95. When you walk past your friend's class.

96. Clear elevator jamming.

97. #RunningManChallenge

98. T-T-T-T-Target.

99. We all have a lot of laughs.

100. High school musical.

Honestly, I still can think of 100 more of the greatest vines of all time... but I guess I should stop now.

Cover Image Credit: NY Mag

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