I remember this moment very clearly, I remember exactly how I felt. I had gone to a fancy restaurant with my parents and my sister. I was about five years old. A little while into our dinner I saw my favorite kindergarten teacher sitting with some guests nearby. I walked over with my parents to say hello when it happened. One of the guests of my teacher looked at me and said kindly, "Well--you must be the most beautiful girl in the whole world!" I smiled proudly as all five year old girls do when they are told they are beautiful. My parents and I returned to our table and I said to my dad, "He said I was the most beautiful girl in the world," and my dad smiled back at me and agreed, "You are the most beautiful girl!"
Those words stayed with me for a long time. I remember going to school and thinking that girls would want to be friends with me because I was the most beautiful girl in the world. My five-year-old self was dazzled by the thought that people noticed my beauty.
The first time that I realized that I wasn't the most beautiful girl in the world was in third grade. There was a second grade boy who had a crush on me and another girl. I wasn't intimidated by the other girl because I knew I was "the most beautiful." So one day I asked him, "If you had to pick between me and the other girl, who is prettier?" expecting him to name me as the winner of his heart. Instead he thought about it for a moment and said confidently "I think she is prettier, but you are more funny!" I was crushed -- I thought I was supposed to be the most beautiful girl in the world!
The second time that I realized I wasn't beautiful was in high school. I sat at a table made up of my closest friends and my fraternal twin sister. People like to compare twins. So the discussion turned to our looks and one of my guy friends looked at us and said as bluntly as possible, "I would say that Miranda [my sister] has the better body for sure, but Rachael [me], you have the better face." Once again, I was faced with the harsh reality that I wasn't the most beautiful.
This moment sent me on a mission. I started getting more stylish and wearing more makeup and fixing my hair because I knew I had to be beautiful. If I wore more makeup and wore prettier clothes, then more people would recognize that I was beautiful. It worked for the most part. People would always compliment me on my clothes and hair/makeup, so I just got filled with more pride and drive to upkeep this standard of beauty for myself.
The third time that I realized that I wasn't beautiful was in college -- my sophomore year to be exact. I had a crush on a guy who I thought was extremely handsome. People saw us and told me that we would be an extremely cute couple. So I made it a goal to always dress nice around him and look my best so that it would occur to him that I was the one for him because I was beautiful. How could I not be? I had the right look. I did this for weeks only to find out that he had been interested in someone else the whole time. I knew then that I was not beautiful.
The last time that I realized that I wasn't beautiful was when a friend of mine said to me, "You inspire me so much. You are the most encouraging person I know and I am so thankful that you are my friend. You have no idea what you have meant to me." That changed things. She didn't note my beauty as a reason that she loved me. I realized then that no, I am not beautiful. I may have nice clothes and do my hair and makeup well, I may even have attractive features. But that beauty is not me. I am Rachael. I am a good friend. I care about people. I love deeply. I love Jesus. I am passionate about seeing this world change. But I am not beautiful. Beautiful is not my name. It's Rachael. It is not who I am.
So girls, I want to affirm you: beauty is not who you are. It may be something you possess, but I want you to know that before you are beautiful, you are unique. You are passionate about something. You have your own creativity. You love something or someone and you are loved by many. You are someone's daughter. You are someone's friend. You are uniquely designed. You are a lovely person but you are not just beautiful. You are you.
