To The Men Who Think Rape Culture Doesn’t Exist, This Is For You.
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

To The Men Who Think Rape Culture Doesn’t Exist, This Is For You.

It's your problem, too.

259
To The Men Who Think Rape Culture Doesn’t Exist, This Is For You.
Alexandra Collier

To the men who think rape culture doesn't exist,

I am first going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you might just be a little confused. Here is the lowdown: rape culture is not a trend. Rape culture isn't new. It does not just affect women, it affects men, it affects you. You still say rape culture is not real? Well, this is what I have to say to you:

Rape culture is real when a girl says she was raped and your first question was, “What was she wearing?” Rape culture is real when you justify treating a girl with disrespect simply because she “gives it up so easily.” Rape culture is real when you tell your daughters, sisters, or girlfriends not to wear short shorts or makeup because they are “asking for attention.”

Rape culture is real when girls report being catcalled and harassed, and you tell them to walk in the “buddy system.” Rape culture is real when you enforce stricter dress codes for 5-year-old girls than you do boys. Rape culture is real if it pisses you off when she doesn’t smile and say “thank you” when you tell her how nice her ass is, or if it pisses you off when she turns down any advances you make.

Rape culture is real when you assume that her saying “yes” to one sex act or engaging in any sex act ever, means that she is willing to do so again. Rape culture is real when you call her a “slut” or a “whore” for engaging in casual sex with you. Rape culture is real when you feel you are entitled to sex with your significant other, or anyone, ever.

Rape culture is real when we teach women that their virginity is precious, their bodies are a temple and should be conserved modestly, but teach boys that sex is an entitlement and women’s bodies are something to pursue.

Rape culture is real when you ignore the possibility of any sexual assault or harassment against boys- and say well, they just "got lucky." Newsflash: Sexual harassment and sexual assault do not discriminate: female to male rape happens, male to male rape happens, female to female rape happens.

To the men that think rape culture does not affect them: let me give you a scenario. Imagine that you are unconscious and a woman or man that you are not attracted to you has sex with you without your consent, or, even better- a woman or man you are not attracted to holds you down and has sex with you as you are conscious. Imagine a woman or man you are not attracted to grabs your butt as you walk by at a party, catcalls you and stares at your groin as you are walking to class. Do you like the idea of that? No? Well, that is exactly what sexual assault and sexual harassment is: unwanted. Uncomfortable. Invasive. Violent. Don't let pornography, society, your peers fool you into thinking that this can't happen to you as a male. You do not have to be sexually aggressive. You do not have to want every sexual advance that comes to you.

Is it real yet?

Rape culture is real when you are only upset by the idea of any of these things happening to your own mother, sister, girlfriend, wife- but it doesn't phase you if it involves a woman unrelated to you. If it takes you imagining every female is one of your own to stop your behavior, stop your assumptions, stop your harassment, to stop being a bystander- then fine, please do it. Whatever it takes to end this plague. We just want it to end.

How about now?

We are sick of being pushed to behave sexually and dress a certain way, but shamed when we do. We are sick of looking over our shoulder, carrying our car key in between our fingers when we walk alone, walking in the buddy system. We are sick of being called bitches, sluts, whores, or crazy feminists when we yell and scream about rape culture, about being disrespected, about not being heard.

Well, I am going to yell and scream and bitch and moan for the rest of my damn life until you hear me. Until you stop averting your eyes when I talk about my sexual assault until you stop asking "what were you wearing?" and instead ask "how can I help?" I won't stop, no, until then. Maybe then, it will affect you enough to finally acknowledge that rape culture is real.

We will not be silenced.

Sincerely,
Every sexual assault survivor, ever.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers

1333520

Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

831725
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series

808105
Netflix

Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

522359
Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

326655
Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?

458545

Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

14 Last Minute Valentine's Day Gifts Your S.O. Will Love

If they love you, they're not going to care if you didn't get them some expensive diamond necklace or Rolex watch; they just want you.

311413

Let me preface this by saying I am not a bad girlfriend.

I am simply a forgetful one.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

10 Helpful Tips For College Students Taking Online Courses This Semester

Here are several ways to easily pass an online course.

209671
Photo by Vlada Karpovich on Pexels

With spring semester starting, many college students are looking to take courses for the semester. With the pandemic still ongoing, many students are likely looking for the option to take online courses.

Online courses at one time may have seemed like a last minute option for many students, but with the pandemic, they have become more necessary. Online courses can be very different from taking an on-campus course. You may be wondering what the best way to successfully complete an online course is. So, here are 10 helpful tips for any student who is planning on taking online courses this semester!

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments