Recently, I found myself in a very difficult situation.
It haunted me for a while, and it got to the point where I knew I had to take action.
I realized a friend that I had made revealed very toxic tendencies. It had gotten to a point where it began affecting my self-esteem and projecting my insecurities into my daily life.
Although I tried my best to salvage the relationship and try to be as understanding as possible, it began to be too much, and I knew that staying in the relationship would take too much of a toll on me.
When the relationship first started off, it started as enjoyable and not serious. However, some of the comments this friend made progressively became worse and worse with negativity and rudeness, commenting about my appearance and my sexual orientation. And, eventually, these comments and these messages would ruin my day as soon as I opened them.
I feared getting these messages and feeling this way.
Although I tried my best to deal with these comments and try to understand where they were coming from, I slowly realized that these friend's insecurities were adding onto mine, and it got to the point where it took a huge mental toll to deal with.
Although it was a hard decision, I decided to block this friend.
I soon realized, blocking someone toxic can be one of the most liberating and empowering decisions you can make.
It gives you the power to step away from the situation and reassess.
In addition, it gives you the ability to chose who you want to allow into your life. You have the ability to make that decision, and you are not obligated to save everyone.
Although you should do everything in your power to help other people, you are not obligated to save them, and you must put yourself FIRST above all else.
Happiness and self-worth are two of the most valuable things we have the ability to own.
The relief I felt from blocking this particular person was the first time in a long time that I felt in control of a situation I previously felt like I couldn't handle.
It made me realize that I didn't deserve the treatment I was receiving because NO ONE should be put down, even if it's because the other person has their own insecurities.
Blocking this person allowed me to regain my self-esteem slowly, and to potentially be able to handle the situation once again when I am strong enough and able to better assess all the factors.