"Where are you from?"

"Massachusetts."

"No I mean really from?"

"Uhh... Peabody."

"No, no, I mean ORIGINALLY?"

".....The United States of America?"

"Ok where are your parents from then?"

"......."

So if you're an immigrant, or even the child of an immigrant, the above conversation is something you've had on the daily since you moved to this country or since, well, the day you learned to speak. The usual follow-up questions to this tired conversation range from mildly insensitive to radically racist in nature, with gems that include, but are not limited to: "Wow! Where's that?," "Can you say something in your language?," "Do you guys have electricity there?" or my personal favorite: "So do you ride camels or...?"

As a second generation Iranian born in the US to Iranian immigrant parents, this conversation is something I not only witnessed via my parents, but was a conversation I myself was forced to engage in every time I met someone new and they took note of my decidedly un-American features. (But seriously, who said blonde hair and blue eyes is the "American look" and who decided that brown hair and brown eyes suddenly means you are "other"?)

For immigrants and their children, it seems that no matter where you go, what you do, or who you meet, you're always reduced to where you're "originally from." Conversations that are political in nature inevitably become: "Well, I'm sure where you're from it's different, but here in America, this is how we do things." The casual racism that permeates our culture here in America is something you're forced to not only accept, but conform to, made to agree or laugh at culturally insensitive jokes lest you be accused of taking things "too seriously." Your culture is reduced to a novelty for people to marvel at for a few moments before they dismiss your heritage entirely, your food met with wrinkled noses and a disgusted "what's that?" aimed in your direction before the subtle inching away from you and your offensive cuisine, your parents speaking their native language prompting nervous glances or muttered comments about foreigners invading "our country."

The truth is, living as an immigrant or as part of an immigrant family in the U.S. is really difficult sometimes because of hurtful comments like these. For us, no matter how hard we work or what we accomplish, no one can ever see beyond our accents or different shaped eyes. I wouldn't mind answering questions about where my parents came from or what my country is like if people were even remotely interested in my background beyond the initial morbid curiosity of experiencing something exotic. I would gladly teach people about my culture if they had a genuine interest in learning about the nuances of my heritage. But unfortunately, immigrant culture is viewed as something that is not only different, but must be feared or dismissed altogether because it is very unlike the normative American culture everyone is so used to.

Americans, and the West in general, have this horrible tendency of trying to Westernize everything they come into contact with because they are led by the misguided belief that the Western way to do things is the only way, and the right way. When our parents move here from Iran or India, from Kenya or Thailand, from Chile or Mongolia, they are told that assimilating to Western norms is the easiest way to transition to their new home. They are taught to leave their old traditions and customs behind because they're in America now, and things are different here.

This harmful idea is only continued with their children, who are taught to revile and reject their own heritages in favor of American culture. Growing up, I was embarrassed by my mother's accent, faint though it was. I was embarrassed to bring our home-cooked food for lunch and begged for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches instead. I forced my parents to tell my friends we were an old Italian family so I wouldn't have to deal with the stigma of being Middle Eastern. With such harmful rejection of our own identities from such a young age, our original cultures and heritages are being systematically destroyed one generation at a time.

So next time you meet a racially ambiguous person, instead of treating them with the highly original "so, where are you from?" maybe you should instead treat them like a regular American citizen, because nine times out of ten, that's exactly what they are. Or better yet, don't comment at all, because nine times out of ten, any comment you make about their origins, their heritage, or their skin color, is going to be racist and offensive no matter how you phrase it.

An immigrant is not an animal to be gawked at and marveled over; they're people just like you, and they deserve the same courtesy you would expect to receive as a human being.