Last week, I attended a banquet for the members of The Citadel Honors Program class of 2016. At the banquet, we were all asked to give a short speech highlighting some way that the Honors Program benefited us. I chose to speak about the power of the friendships I made, and this article comes from the words I spoke that night.
There is a popular principle found in the Bible that most people have heard at some point in their lives. It says simply, “bad company corrupts good morals.” I have no intention of arguing this point as I have seen its truth time and time again in my personal life. Instead I would like to point out something many people ignore when considering this principle. The exact opposite is true as well. Good company builds good morals and destroys bad ones.
It has been said that the five people you are closest to will basically be the average of who you are. If this is the truth than the people you surround yourself with are very important. As the idiom in the previous paragraph states, those people can ruin a person’s good character or build it completely.
In my time as a cadet at The Citadel, I spent many hours around the guys and gals of the honors program. We studied, went out on the town, watched movies and worked out together on a regular basis. This was a group of individuals committed to excellence in every area of their lives. Some were higher achievers than others, but all excelled above average. I am still surprised and shocked to find myself included in such company.
There is an incredible sense of camaraderie and competition amongst this group. Even though we were often all competing for the same awards and recognition, we constantly pushed each other to be better and there was only healthy competition amongst each other. The ability for good friends to engage in good competition means that both the winner and the loser in the competition are stretched and improved. They both have been better prepared to attack the next challenge. We did not agree on everything we discussed, but our ability to constantly debate issues important to us made us all understand our position and our opponents very well.
As one of the lesser achievers among the group, as far as cadet life is concerned, I was sometimes frustrated and disappointed by the fact that I did not get the positions I wanted and I had times of despair because of the number of punishments I had accumulated. What gave me encouragement were the words written in the Covenant of Excellence which say, “When I am discouraged, I will seek encouragement from my colleagues.” It was when I looked to them and their achievements that I was given the courage and inspiration to carry on.
Among this group were many high rank holders, including the second highest cadet in the school. When I considered that many of these were in my close friend group, I realized that in spite of me not holding any rank, being close friends with them revealed that I was of a similar caliber as them. The phrase one of my friends used to refer to me was, “fallen from grace.” He meant that even though the rules of the school said that I was not a quality leader, in his opinion, it was just the opposite. There is great comfort in knowing that one’s friends are excelling as their success reflects on the kind of person you are as their friend.
Beyond life as a cadet, the members of this group are incredible academics. Many have won significant post-graduate opportunities and scholarships, which gives me the drive to try and win some of my own. Again, we have a sense of competition that makes us all want to be a part of the group. I am so excited to see my friends who are going all over the world and who will continue to change it through academic excellence.
Outside of the honors program, I have close friends who are as equally driven to excellence and who strive for success just the same. I do not wish to leave them out of this article as they have pushed me and encouraged me just as much.
For those out there who are wondering how this article applies to you, I would encourage you to take a look at the people around you. Which of them are encouraging you and inspiring you to keep going? How many of them are engaged in a healthy competition to succeed in their fields? Are they bad company ruining good morals in you, or good company stamping out the bad morals? If the answers to any of these questions are not what they should be, perhaps it is time to reevaluate who your friends are and find some who can help build you up in the right areas. It makes all the difference to have friends you can rely on.
