It dawned on me as I was sitting at the library during finals week last semester. Naturally, I was on Facebook doing my usual pre-study procrastination when my eyes grazed over a picture of a girl I knew from high school. She was smiling with her mother at what appeared to be a fancy restaurant. The caption read something along the lines of: “Thanks Mom for helping me study for finals! :).”
Shocked, I read it again. Then I took a screenshot of it and immediately texted it to my own mother at home (which for me is over 2000 miles away from school), asking her if she thought it was as ridiculous as I did that this girl’s mother had visited her daughter during finals week to help her study and take her out to a nice dinner. Obviously, my mother agreed with me.
I grew up in California. Living in the heart of the Silicon Valley, I had the mountains to the north, the beach to the west and there was hardly a day under 50 degrees. Now, let me be perfectly clear. I love California and am fortunate enough to be given such an amazing state to grow up in. But by the time senior year of high school rolled around, I was itching for a new adventure. Thus, when I began searching for the perfect college to attend, I suddenly found my list of potential schools consisting of very few California schools. I ended up choosing to attend the University of Wisconsin-Madison. I know, no one else could believe it either – how could I leave the warm, Golden State for the freezing, Cheesehead State? Well, I’ll tell you exactly why.
I wanted to get away. I wanted to experience something new and I wanted a fresh start. For me, that meant that for the first time in my life I wanted to really see the season’s transform and the snow fall, and I definitely didn’t want to run into kids from my high school on my walk to class. Leaving home gave me the opportunity to create myself, to make new friends and to branch out. I was truly able to abandon the pent up pressures and feelings from high school and move on. Very quickly, I realized the importance of leaving home to experience college.
I was forced out of my comfort zone when I first came to college. And even though it was scary at first, it only broadened my perspective of life. Now, I have new best friends in almost every area code throughout the US, I have come to the harsh realization that they serve cheese curds as opposed to garlic fries at Baseball games in Wisconsin, and I can confirm that, especially compared to California, the term “Midwest Nice” is very, very true.
Leaving home meant that for the first time in my life I was really living on my own. There were no parents or camp counselors to physically make sure I was in my bed sleeping at a decent hour every night and there was no one to tell me to clean my room. In fact, my dorm room was spick span about twice all year. The first time was when my mom helped me move in and the second was when she was coming again for parents weekend. And you know what? It was great. You can’t fully embrace the freedom of college if your parents are close enough where they are able to pop in “just to say hi” and you can’t develop any sense of grit if your parents still do your laundry for you.
Leaving home for college gives you the opportunity to build your own community and truly grow as a person. But most importantly, it gives you something to miss. Now, coming home for breaks is a treat and let me tell you, you appreciate everything more – from the food to the people and for me, most definitely the weather. Also, I now truly realize the value of spending time with my family since I don’t get to see them as often as I used to.
The best part about leaving home for college is the sense of accomplishment that I now have. It’s nice to look back and realize that as a freshman in college I maintained getting great grades, most definitely enjoyed my social life, kept my body somewhat healthy (give or take gaining a few pounds), stayed updated with family and kept my dorm room relatively presentable. I did that all by myself. If you never leave your nest, you are never given the opportunity to realize that you don’t need other people to be dependent on, and that you can be capable, and smart, and great, all on your own.
California isn’t going anywhere. And I’m confident that it will welcome me with open arms if that’s where I end up post graduation. But for now, I’d like to study for my finals without my parent’s help and while I’m at it, I’m going to sample every cheese curd at the Madison Farmer’s Market.
