In our contemporary society, honesty has become something of a pejorative term. It seems as if the people of my generation have grown to detest it. They don’t want an opinion that is unencumbered by sensitivity, half-heartedness, or timidity. No, what most people want is a gentle white lie. They don’t want to be told the truth. Instead, what these people desire is a version of the truth that is more easily digestible.
They want the world, as a whole, to acquiesce to their beliefs and opinions, no matter what those are. Contrary beliefs and opposing points of view are far less tolerable among my generation. Honesty is now considered to be deeply dangerous. Subversive, even. People no longer value honesty, they want to feel coddled and protected. Free from the healthy sorts of constructive criticism that lead to greater degrees of introspection and positive social and personal growth. This is a deeply sad development to me on multiple levels.
As children, we do not possess a filter. We have not learned the subtleties and nuanced intricacies of social interaction. We merely said what was on our minds. If we did not like someone, we said that. If we were not happy in a certain situation, we would tell someone. It was only with the passing of time that we learned that, in many circumstances, it was not socially appropriate to speak our minds.
No, we couldn’t tell someone what they just said sounded stupid, because that could potentially upset them. We had to construct a veil and hide our unhappiness or disagreements behind socially acceptable language. True honesty, instead of being venerated and held up as a positive social trait is, instead, widely frowned upon. People who are blunt and speak their minds are widely viewed as being rude, arrogant, or socially clueless.
Even within the context of a romantic relationship or a close friendship, it seems as if couples would much rather lie or, at the very least, tell each other hollow half-truths. This is very distressing to me. I do not think it is moral to lie to someone. If you truly, deeply care about another individual, you should always feel comfortable speaking your mind to them.
If you are unable to do this, or you feel nervous or hesitant in this sort of situation, I do not believe that is a friendship or relationship worth being in. Because, to me, any close relationship between two people, whether romantic or not, is built entirely on a foundation of honesty and trust. If that foundation is lacking in any way, then the larger structure will eventually fall apart, no matter how sturdy it appears at first.
Lies have a way of revealing themselves over time, and they certainly cannot be maintained forever. Honesty is not something that should be considered hurtful or malicious. Quite the contrary, it should speak to the strength and closeness that exists between people. I sincerely hope that, eventually, more people begin to realize this fact.
