Breakups are never easy. Whether you were together a few weeks, a few months, or years, the loss of such a close, special and intimate relationship is difficult.
A clean break; what exactly is it and how can I get one? If it were so easy to achieve I wouldn't be sitting here writing about it. I have yet to come up with the perfect way to do this, but I've learned from a lot of my mistakes.
A clean break starts with removing him off of social media. Yes, you have to unfriend him on Facebook and unfollow him on Instagram and Snapchat. Why? Because he will try to keep in touch. He will try to wean his way back into your life and into your heart. If he doesn't do it directly, then you'll have to watch his Snapchats and see exactly what he's doing and with who. Or maybe you'll keep looking up his name on Facebook and seeing what he's up to.
Next on the list is removing your pictures together on social media. I am someone who scrolls through my Instagram from time to time, just for fun. Running into a photo of an old flame can bring a lot of unnecessary sadness, regret, and doubt. That can lead to other things such as reaching out to him again or trying to friend him again (if you've followed this list and have already unfriended him on social media). Plus, Facebook "On This Day" is the absolute worst. Notice I said remove pictures off of social media not delete them all together. I don't believe in deleting old pictures because one day you may be in a wonderful and stable, place in your life and you will want to reminisce. You will want to see how far you've come. So delete the Instagram posts and Facebook profile pictures, no matter how many likes and cute comments you got, but be sure to keep an extra copy.
The most important step in having a clean break is deleting his number. For me, this seems to be the most difficult. However, it definitely is the most crucial aspect in completely breaking it off with someone who clearly wasn't meant for you. You don't want to be the girl who drunk calls/texts her ex. This is more likely to happen when you hold onto his number (because let's face it, who actually memorizes phone numbers anymore?). You also don't want to be the girl who continues searching for something that will never happen.
As a way to convince you, let me tell you a few things that happens when you don't get a clean break...
You lose yourself and everything you stand for.
You're that girl who would never continue "seeing" someone after breaking things off, until it happens to you. If you don't have a clean break, you lose what you have always stood for. You do things you say you never would. You might lie to your friends and family about it because they know he's no good for you. You download Tinder and look for a band-aid, but then end up with the same guy. Every piece of yourself you said you would never lose starts to fade away if you keep him around.
You are telling him that you don't deserve the best.
By continuing to see him even after you broke things off, you're telling him that you don't deserve the best- when you do. You deserve someone who will love you unconditionally, not just at 2 a.m. when he's looking for a booty call. You deserve someone who calls you his girlfriend and introduces you to his friends and family.
You're selling yourself short.
When you don't clearly define boundaries there can be a lot of confusion. You might think there's a chance to revive your relationship someday and he might be thinking that you're just someone he can string along for the benefits of a relationship with no commitment. You tell your friends "it's complicated" and make yourself unavailable.
It won't be easy to do, but getting a clean break is important for your sanity!
