The Impact Of Oledvis

The Impact Of Oledvis

Remembering a friend that recently passed away.


Ben was a beautiful soul. He was passionate about his interests. He was very well self-educated. He gave love and acceptance freely and without strings attached. He left this world prematurely at the tender age of 31, due to stage four ovarian cancer.

Oledvis was the first name I knew him under. We met during an event at a place of mutual interest. I was drawn to his kindness and his aura. We found we had quite a few things in common, like writing and learning about astrology.

Ben was very family oriented. He lived with his mom — who he spoke of often. He depended on her very much. Plus he was always helping his grandmother and his aunt around their houses and yards.

He comforted me during one of my emotional aftermaths of losing friends. I was there for him during a time when his consent was violated. I was also an ear for him when he went through a couple of painful breakups.

He kept a lot of different and interesting blogs. He wrote cool and imaginative stories, which his followers looked forward to the next installments of. Of course, he blogged about his daily life and interests as well.

Like me, Ben was extremely introverted. Outside of reading, researching, writing, and indulging in his interests, he made cute items to sell. He led a quiet but satisfyingly isolated life. Though he was looking for love, he was who he was, and he was happy.

He'd always had quite painful menstrual cycles. A lot of times we had to put off our meetups so he could spend a significant amount of time in his bed to relieve the pain. His immune system wasn't that great, as his asthma crept up on him without warning sometimes. Whenever he traveled (which was quite a bit), he always ended up sick upon return.

However, nothing prepared me for when he told me of his diagnosis. We'd spoken on and off for quite a bit, then he was silent for a while. Then came the diagnosis. He was moved to hospice care right after the results, where he would live for the rest of his life. He didn't know how much time he had left. They just told him it was the end of life care. The cancer had spread to his lungs, liver, and lymph nodes.

I still can't wrap my head around the suddenness of his tragedy. How could this have not been detected sooner? How could they not know how long he had to live? Why was he robbed of the chance to finally find lasting love? To see his stories published? To spread the magnificence of his person to leave a greater dent in the world? Why did this have to happen to him?

A week after telling me of his diagnosis, Ben died on July 25, 2018, at 6:30 a.m.

A lot of people had fond memories of the Captain Jack Sparrow costume he rocked last Halloween. I will remember the times and laughs and tears we shared. I will remember his perpetually positive attitude even as he faced death. I'll remember his gorgeous blonde hair, his bright eyes, and his smile. I'll miss the hangout we should have had at Taco Bell downtown and his hospital room. I'll miss sharing such an important part of myself with someone who shared the interest. I'll miss hanging out on our "Fetty the Teddy" and coloring together. I'll miss him being in my corner.

Benny Oledvis, my brother from another mother. May you feel no more pain and find all the love you craved in Heaven. I was lucky to have known you.

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6 Huge Ways Your Life Changes After Escaping A Small Town

"Don't let small-town life make your life small."


I've read a few articles on small towns and some statistics show that 20-30% of Americans live in small towns and 80% of the nation's population lived in one of the 350 combined metropolitan statistical areas.

After growing up in a small town myself, I think it can sometimes be difficult to be the person you want to be while trying to please all of your small-town fans. This is the first time in my life I've moved away from my small town with the intention to stay away for a very long time.

Why would I do something so silly?

Over the past two years, I realized how my hometown was stopping me from growing and accomplishing my dreams. Hanging out with friends generally became a gossip session because we were together so often and had nothing more to talk about. Neighbors knew where I was or who I was with. There was always some type of pressure to please everyone. There has always been someone to compare my life to or to be like.

Finally, I realized how detrimental this mentality was to my success.

After a series of events this year, I finally gathered the courage to pick up my life and move somewhere where I was a “no one." Somewhere where I could start fresh and never have to worry about pleasing someone down the street. I can vouch that this has been the biggest change in my life and the best possible move I could have made.

So what things actually change?

1. You find out who your true friends are.

This one will shock you. Remember that person you used to go to dinner with or spent countless nights finding a party or get together to go to with? That person magically fades away. The convenience of you being down the road is no longer an option and that person has now found a new acquaintance who has replaced you. Your genuine friends will continue to invite you to be a part of whatever and most will plan to spend time with you or come see you.

2. You no longer have a close-minded perception of everything.

I remember going to a grocery store and hearing the small town gossip from aisle to aisle. I remember how one-sided most issues were and if you weren't on board, your opinion was irrelevant. Now I can go to the store and not know a single person and have an opinion about anything I want and not have to worry about being shunned.

3. You suddenly turn into a mystery.

This one is great. People will start wondering where you went or what you've been up to. When I call my parents, I always get a good laugh from the conversations they've had with others who wonder what I'm up to. My favorite quote that relates to this is, “The less you reveal, the more people can wonder."

SEE ALSO: 8 Tiny Lies Every Young Adult Woman Has Told Their Best Friend

4.You are suddenly a nobody in your new community, and it's great.

I have a bad habit of trying to avoid people I know, so when I go into stores or do anything in public, I love being a nobody. I love being able to do all of my grocery shopping without being interrupted or asked about school.

5. You appreciate the small hometown things more.

I'm not going to lie, I cringe thinking about making a trip home, but that pizza place I had four times a week and those margaritas that my friends and I would gulp down when celebrating everything from a birthday to making it through a rough day at work suddenly become luxury items. You enjoy those country cruises and those salty fries so much more when you're away.

6. You start to find yourself.

I left this one for last because it's by far the most important thing that's happened to me. I got stuck thinking I needed to be married by 22 and have a family by the time I was 27. I no longer think this. I finally have a bucket list that involves so much more than beating my best friend in a keg stand at the annual town bonfire. I have found who I am through solely relying on me and the things that make me happy.

SEE ALSO: 8 Things You Realize After High School

Don't get me wrong, I love my hometown. It's made me who I am today, but even if it's only for six months, escape your small town. Get away and experience the world. Don't wait until it's too late. It's great out here!

Cover Image Credit: 10 Best Media

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In The Words Of Casting Crowns, My Life Will Be For 'Only Jesus'

"Only Jesus" by Casting Crowns has inspired me to live my life for Jesus.


When I watch the music video for Casting Crowns "Only Jesus" I am reminded of the reason why we are on this earth, alive, breathing air through our lungs, our hearts beating, and time going on and on.

We are on this earth, not to seek our own glory, our own accolades, and our own selfish greed, but to know God, love God, and to make Him known in this world, through sharing how God's son Jesus has set us free from our sinful lives and has resurrected us spiritually.

At the beginning of the video, we see Mark Hall, the lead singer of Casting Crowns, driving down a road, eventually driving into a junkyard. The junkyard is both a setting for the music video and an allegory. The junkyard is allegorical to show that everything we obtain in this world, both material things and in achieving our own selfish pursuits of self-glory, self-pride, and self-adulation, will one day rot away and decay into nothingness.

No one will remember you in 500 years when you are dead and gone. The only exception to this is if you do something spectacular with your life that makes you famous. Only then will people remember what you did, not the person that you really was.

But living for Jesus and dedicating our lives to the "good fight" is the everlasting legacy we should pass on.

We should be remembered how we dedicated every minute of our lives being fishers of men for Jesus. When Christian men and women live this way, their children learn about God's love, which in turn causes them to surrender their lives to God, then passing God's love to their children, repeating this infinite loop of love for all time until Jesus comes back. Only Jesus is eternal. Only His love is eternal.

So when I die, "I don't want to leave a legacy. I don't care if they remember me, only Jesus."

Because my Lord Jesus Christ, God the Father, and the Holy Spirit is the only thing that matters.

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