The Idiot's Guide To Everything There Is To Know About This Season Of "The Bachelor"
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The Idiot's Guide To Everything There Is To Know About This Season Of "The Bachelor"

Or you just didn't feel like watching this trash but you still need something to talk about in social settings.

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The Idiot's Guide To Everything There Is To Know About This Season Of "The Bachelor"
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So after years of avoiding it, I finally broke down and watched "The Bachelor." The season premiere anyway. I was definitely not making any promises of commitment to watch the entire season every week for several weeks right off the bat.

Entering with knowledge of trashy reality television and low expectations, I was actually met with pleasant response. This season definitely has a unique cast of women and I'm actually interested in who will actually end up with the guy.


The Bachelor, Arie Luyendyk Jr. actually was originally a contestant on the corresponding show, "The Bachelorette,"where he fell head over heels with female lead, Emily. Sadly Emily did not return his feelings (reportedly never returning the "I Love you") and did not even seem to be into their relationship in flashback clips.

Arie still pursued in a desperate attempt to change her mind (even though it was clear her mind was already made up) stating he wanted to clear up her doubts and answer her "questions". Clearly, not understanding the rejection, Arie eventually continued holding his title of eligible bachelor.

Presently, Arie has started a career in real estate continuing his racing career on the side. He wants to now settle down at 36 years old and start a family. To him, his experience on reality television was "proof" he could actually fall in love and now he is ready to take the plunge into the world of reality TV dating with 29 female contestants.

Here are some of the memorable contestants you need to know (because they will most likely be the ones in the most talked-about drama):

Maquel (23)

A photographer who killed the first impression by arriving in an actual race car and taking off her helmet to flip her long blonde hair in an overly glamorous moment to the dropped jaws of contestants watching their competition from the window. She received the last rose in the first round of elimination. Please, we knew she had to stay.

Tia (26)

A spunky southern cutie who works as a Physical Therapist from Weiner, Arkansas. Literally, Weiner. Opening line with gift of a hometown keychain; "Please don't tell you already have a little weiner."

Chelsea (29)

A Real Estate Executive Assistant and mother,

she is the implied resident drama-queen and stirrer of the pot. In an

attempt to make sure she wins the First Impression Rose, she steals Arie

away to have two private encounters to make herself memorable. This

petty PTA mom will be trash talked all over Twitter the second after the

episode ends and most likely will be kept around to keep the show

interesting. Her kid will probably watch this show in a few years and

roll his eyes at his own mother. Yeah, it's that bad. Especially every

time she says, "I'm not worried there are no threats."

Kendall (26)

A Creative Director who collects taxidermy and plays the Ukulele. Her introduction video is her singing and playing to a stuffed otter. Literally, if she ends up winning, it is hope for all of us weirdos to make it on the show and win the guy in real life.


Marik (27)

She owns an Indian restaurant with her family and realistically thinks "dating a guy dating other women is going to be very difficult," Hallelujah! Actual sense! She hopes Arie is ready for her "spice" Cue the creative restaurant puns!

Krystal (30)

An online fitness coach seems to be nice but her smile kind of reads secretly crazy. More to come.

Bekah (unknown age)

An obviously very-young nanny, her age is being kept a secret but her spunky attitude is definitely note-worthy. Arriving in a vintage car, she says may be young but she still has an appreciation for the classics and is anxious to see if she is comparable with Arie over their love for adrenaline and spontaneous adventure.

Brittany (30)

A tech recruiter who was the first one to kiss the bachelor after a spontaneous mini car race.

Annaliese (32)

Armed in costume, referencing to his former nickname "kissing bandit" from his former television experience, she is an event designer. She has a sincere conversation about previous relationships with Arie in front of a fireplace.

Jenna (28)

Arie isn't really sure what she does and neither do I because she's all over the place. She literally pulled out one of those mini foot-soak machines and was rubbing his feet while talking about how much she loves ice-cream.


From putting a bumper sticker on their bachelor to making him sniff their armpit out of nerves, each girl has brought in a new personality to compete with.

Tactics ranging from bringing pizza to foot rubs to original songs and questions from Mom; each girl is trying their best to beat the competition. Seven girls have already been eliminated with the first episode and the rest are now officially contestants. Who will win the bachelor's heart?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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