Every time the doors opened, I was there. Youth group was my scene every Sunday and Wednesday. I knew everyone's name and they knew mine. Many people probably have a similar story. I tried to be nice and tried to do the right thing. I loved Jesus, and still do and genuinely pursued a relationship with Him.

High school came and went. The friendships, the boys, the teachers, the drama, the school work, the basketball games, the tears and the laughs. I never believed that I would continue relationships with people from my high school. I know people change and people move on. One thing I did think was that the people from my church would continue to be apart of my life.

After graduation, everyone went their own way. Many to college or technical schools. Some straight into their career. I decided to take a different path and move abroad. I signed up and flew to Spain to volunteer for a year. One of the hardest and best years of my life. I became very lonely during the first few months of my trip. I remember thinking about all the people who promised to be praying for me or promised to reach out, and they didn't. Of course I had a few strong relationships with girls from back home who were always there for me, and I am VERY thankful.

I was hurt, but it was my fault. I was hurt because I wasn't expecting people to drop me, but how could they not when they have lives of their own?

When it came time to move back I was SO excited, yet naive again. I expected all my friends from before I left to be there when I got back. To be excited to see me.

I remember the first day I was back, walking into church during VBS in which many of my friends were volunteering. I walked into the main room and one girl who I grew up with, turned to a few other girls that I had shared many years of close relationships with, and said, "why is she here? I dont want her here?", they agreed.

She didn't know I heard her, but again, I was hurt.

Months went on, and I was lonely. My church didn't acknowledge what I had been through, the things i saw while being abroad, the hard times i suffered through without their help.

I was hurt. I continued to let myself get hurt over and over again until I decided to leave.

I started distancing myself and attending another church.