When you first meet someone it's all smiles and butterflies. But when that ends, then what?
Getting to know someone is one of my favorite things to do whether it is as a friend or a romantic interest. Finding out why their favorite color is blue or learning about their first kiss is so pure because you can't relive those beginning memories of getting to know somebody for the first time. But what happens when you aren't getting roses left on your front porch anymore or those 'good morning beautiful' messages start becoming more of a rarity? Does it mean that you are no longer in love? Does it mean you are no longer doing the things to keep someone like you were once doing those things to get that someone? 'Falling' out of the honeymoon stage, for lack of a better phrase, doesn't always mean you're falling out of love, sometimes it means you're growing into something better.
When I first got to know my boyfriend, I would be falling asleep in class every day because we were up until 3am every night trying to learn every detail we could about each other. I would wake up to good morning messages and paragraphs about how I was the greatest person in the world. We would go out on dates every single week and spend every day together that we could. Then came the first kiss that then lead to the constant 'I love you's'. It was all smiles and butterflies, and it was the beginning of a new love.
Every amazing moment turned into another amazing moments, and then we sort of plateaued. The kisses became more of a hi and bye thing and the 'I love you's' came without nerves. We stopped asking each other intimate details about each other and it turned into more boring conversations. We stopped getting all dressed up for dates and more dates turned into nights in just watching movies on the couch. We would send a few sporadic texts throughout the day instead of texting 24/7. I didn't know why it all seemed to plateau because it didn't seem like any feelings had faded but I couldn't help but feel like the relationship was going to end.
I then took a step back and asked myself; are we really falling out of love, or are we growing and forming a deeper love? The kisses didn't come less because there wasn't any passion; they came less because we were enjoying the silent company of just being around each other and not constantly all over each other. The 'I love you's' came without nerves because we were confident of our feelings. The constant questioning stopped because we knew everything we could possibly know about each other. We stopped going out to dinner and out on dates less because we started saving for a future together. We didn't plateau, we got real.
The infamous 'Honeymoon Phase' is just a phrase used when everything seems too good to be true, when everything is all rainbows and butterflies. It's when you try and be so perfect and try to win each other over and when you drop everything to make them your first priority. Leaving the honeymoon phase doesn't mean you are plateauing or falling out of love, it means you are growing-up, growing together and learning how to be the best for that person. Talks get more serious, you learn that things they do can actually be really annoying, you learn their fears, what makes them tick and what they want in the future. Their friends soon become yours and yours become theirs. They then turn from your boyfriend or girlfriend and into your best friend.
There is no deadline for the honeymoon phase, for some it last years while others it last months. Sometimes it does end relationships because you find out they aren't the person you thought they would be. It can show you a lot about where you both are in life and in especially in the relationship. The honeymoon phase doesn't come and go just once either. It can come and go with any new step in the relationship. It can come when you move in together, get engaged, and again after the wedding. It can come back when you're having a baby, then again when you have another, even again when the kids grow up and move out of the house. It can come back at any time that is if you're willing to work for it.
Leaving the honeymoon stage of a relationship doesn't mean you're falling out of love, or you have no chance of getting it back, it just means your relationship is become more serious and you are growing-up, together. Sometimes it can simply mean that that person is now not only your significant other, but now also your best friend.
7-years later my boyfriend has become my best friend and we have come and gone through the honeymoon stage a couple times already. Whether it came from a break-up and getting back together or graduating high school together, falling out again when I was away at school and falling back into it when I moved back home. This is time is the best time though, because I realized falling in and out of the honeymoon stage didn't mean the love is coming and going but it meant we were growing-up and looking forward to more of those moments that will continue to bring us closer and closer. Falling out of the honeymoon stage just means that we get to fall back into it and it gets better and better every single time. Every rough patch and hard decision is a lesson and it helps you do better and be better for each other in the future. Don't look at it as falling in and out of love but rather making mistakes, learning lessons and growing stronger; most importantly always together.
