The holidays have always been my favorite time of the year. I love the changing of the seasons, the parades, festivals and spending time with my loved ones. Yet, there has always been a feeling of emptiness that I have as the season approaches. Yes, my parents are still happily married, but I come from a broken family.

Ever since I was a little girl, death has been far too familiar. Whether it be a grandparent, a cousin, an aunt or an uncle, I noticed that I had lost much more of my family than anyone else my age.

Even though a lot of my family members have passed away, I sill have a very big family on both sides. However, I have never felt that way. On my mom's side, my brother and I are the only grandchildren. My dad has five half-brothers and a sisters from my grandfather. Unfortunately, my grandfather passed away when my dad was only 12 years old, so it severed ties with most of his siblings for a long time.

Due to all of this, I have always felt like something was missing.

All of my friends had these big families that were extremely close and would see each other all the time. They had lots of cousins close in age and grandparents who were active participants in their lives. There was this sense of completeness that I had been surrounded with but was never fortunate enough to experience myself. The only time I saw my family was at the weddings we were invited to and funerals. Every time I saw them, I desperately wanted to be a part of their lives. I wanted to know about what they liked, what they disliked, and what had happened in their lives. But their hearts were already full without me. I never blamed them nor my parents. I understood that they all had their own lives but I had always wished it would have included me.

So, every year as the holiday season approaches, I feel this sense of being incomplete. Holidays are very small. It consists of my parents, my brother, and my two living grandparents. I love them all with every part of my being, but I always yearned for more especially because there was more family.

This holiday will be the same. It will be small and quiet. There has been some progress. Some family members have recently come back into my life and others are making a conscientious effort to be a part of my life. This progress means more to me than anyone could ever imagine.

I am not writing this article from a place of malice, but to show those out there who have had similar situations that they are not alone. Families are supposed to stick together through thick and thin, but that is not always the case. I am so thankful for the family I do have and the friends of my parents who have stepped up to the plate and become the family I never had. Hold your families close this holiday season.