Once every year, usually sometime in the middle of February, the Grammy Awards ceremony is broadcasted and some of the world’s biggest artists are awarded for their contributions to modern music.

This year, the nominations range from well-known superstars such as Beyonce, to rising groups such as the Chainsmokers, and then to less commercial names such as Sturgill Simpson.

While the Grammy nominations have always included a fairly wide range of musical artists, it’s the ones that become winners that usually feel poorly chosen. Even the nominations often feel stale and out of touch with the ever-changing platform of music, and each year it feels like the one or two nominees who are truly deserving in each category are often overlooked.

That is why this year I am nervous, but also desensitized.

At this point, most music lovers are used to the ridiculous decisions that the Grammy committee makes year after year. They have seen it happen time and time again, so they no longer feel surprised when artists who create brilliant music get ignored.

In the past decade or so, the Grammys have been criticized for choosing artists who are more successful commercially and less successful critically. It is an odd paradox where the Grammys will ignore artists for years when they are producing powerful work, but if the artist releases something that is less impressive but sells well, they suddenly win an award.

And although the Academy Awards have received scrutiny from the news media for the whitewashing that often occurs with their nominations, the Grammys have been notorious for ignoring artists of color in favor of caucasian musicians.

Take for example, the fact that Kanye West’s My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, which according to Acclaimed Music is the 73rd most prominently ranked record on critics’ all-time lists, was not nominated for Album of the Year in 2012. The album was lauded by critics, adored by fans, and was chosen as the best album of 2010 by loads of music publications, but it was not even considered for the top prize of the night, which was instead won by Adele’s multi-platinum selling 21.

Then, consider the fact that Kendrick Lamar, one of modern music’s strongest rappers, was not given the award for Best New Artist or Best Rap Album at the Grammys in 2014, and was instead beaten by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, which was even called a robbery by Macklemore himself.

Only two years later, many were outraged when Lamar was ignored once again, when Taylor Swift won the award for Album of the Year with 1989 and Lamar’s To Pimp A Butterfly, which was acclaimed by critics and fans alike was neglected. What was even more ridiculous was the fact that Swift was the first woman to ever win the coveted Album of the Year award twice as a solo female artist, which demonstrated just how much the Grammys favor male artists over female ones as well.

Thus, as we enter into the latest Grammy Awards, one of the most prominent talking-points has been the fact that Beyonce has never won a Grammy for Album of the Year. Although Beyonce has been commercially and critically dominating the music world for over two decades now, she has never been acknowledged with the top prize.

Many thought this moment would come when she released her earth-shattering self-titled release back in 2013, but the award was instead given to the lesser-known Beck. Although Beyonce had completely changed the way in which albums were released, promoted, and visually represented, her album Beyonce came out as the loser.

While Beyonce has won 20 Grammy awards and is the most nominated female artist in the award show’s history, a part deep inside of me is still very worried that she will not win Album of the Year for Lemonade. Although the album received critical acclaim, debuted at No. 1, and even inspired a college course, she could get snubbed just like she was the last time.

Due to the fact that she is an African American and a woman, these factors have not been in someone’s favor when it came to winning at the Grammys in the past. And although she is a Grammy favorite, when it comes to the biggest award of the night, I could easily see them handing it to someone like Adele, who’s 25 was a massive success commercially, but who did not take any artistic leaps with her music.

As with the biggest award of the night, I am just as nervous about other categories. I could easily see Chance The Rapper losing to the Chainsmokers for Best New Artist, or Twenty One Pilots beating Rihanna and Drake for Best Pop Duo/Group Collaboration.

But, while I am worried about all of these things, the Grammys can’t surprise me anymore. If all of these things were to happen, I could say that I easily saw it coming. But, I want to be surprised. I want the Grammys to sweep me off my feet and actually hand the awards to artists who deserve them instead of those who would be the top played artist on a middle schooler’s Spotify account. I want them to give Beyonce the award for Album of the Year.

By the time this article will be posted, the Grammys will have been aired and we will know who the victors were. My greatest wish is that by tomorrow, this article will be dated. The Grammy committee will have changed their ways, and they will have surprised us all. They will no longer seem out of touch. I really hope that I can say this is true.