These statements are distinctively different. But I trusted you.

The entire time, you made me feel alive. I had never felt so alive. I know we were kind of young, but I had known you for so long. It just seemed so perfect that we would become one. You allowed me to carry out the “relationship” for a few years, and allowed me to pretend. As long as you were around, you had my heart.

You had me at hello. Not long after our first conversation we started dating. You took me on little dates, bought me jewelry, and made me cute little cards. You treated me like a princess. You made me feel like I was unstoppable. We were inseparable. Every weekend without fail you and I were together.

Time went on, and I thought we were fine. I was oblivious to the fact you had made the decision that we weren’t. You allowed me to find out about your deceit through a friend. When confronted you didn’t confirm nor deny her. So I let it go. I took you back.

I took you back and continued to pretend that you had changed, and that I couldn’t possibly find someone better. You cared about me and you would never, ever hurt me.

We make it to a year, and I end up moving to a new school. I have no worries, because you love me and I ignorantly trust you. Then the rumors start.

When my best friend came to me and asked me if we had broken up, I was caught a bit off guard. To my knowledge we were fine. I didn’t know we had broken up, or were even in a bad place. What had I done?

I call you on the phone to talk about the news I had heard. You tell me that we are fine and I had been lied to. But for the first time, because I will never forget, you told me we had to be a secret. You said that we needed to keep our relationship hush hush because you didn’t want me teased for dating a guy younger than me. For whatever reason, you made me believe the words coming out of your mouth were gospel. At the time as long as I had you, I didn’t care if I had to pretend that we were only friends, because when it was just us, we were who we always were. In love.

As the weeks pass, I catch wind that you and the dreaded girl are together. I get the messages, phone calls, and texts asking me if its true. I lied to all of those people, telling them I didn’t care so I wouldn’t know. When I called to be consoled for these wild allegations you drop another bomb on me.

You said the dreaded words “We need to talk.” You devastated me.

I meet up with you to talk. You give me the most generic excuse. You knew exactly what you were doing.

For months you kept me down. You left me questioning who I was. I often wondered what was wrong with me. You made me feel like I was worthless. You made my heart harden. You made me trust less.

You made me realize who I really am.

Looking at me now, is like a breath of fresh air. I now realize my worth. I mean more than you. I will never again stoop so low to think I don’t deserve to be treated like a human. I should be paraded, and cherished. You never loved me; you loved only yourself.

I learned being selfish isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes it makes you realize who’s worth risking things for.