She always finds a way to come up with something she "has to do" instead of joining her girls for a night out.

Maybe she's experimented with that scene before because the people that she likes to be around were doing it, but the only real reason she was excited to turn 21 was to get a new and improved picture on her license. If you are this girl, you can probably relate on every level.

If you aren't this girl, but you know this girl, hear me out for a minute –– because she really loves you and wants you to know some things about her.

1. She still really wants to hang out with you.

She loves her friends fiercely, regardless of how different her Friday nights look from theirs. She really values a good movie night with her people. She craves the belly aching laughs and boy talk. Her love for her girls doesn't ever change, sometimes it is just harder than others.

2. The party scene genuinely makes her uncomfortable.

Whether you are this girl or you are friends with this her, you have to know that the root of this part of her life can pretty much always be pointed back to anxiety. She has no clue why alcohol makes her feel so unsettled, but it just does. Drunk people actually make her stomach feel a different type of way. It likely comes from past experiences, but she is so desperate for her friends to understand and work with her.

3. She knows that her decision NOT to partake in drinking/staying out all night will result in feeling lonely sometimes.

TRUST ME on this one, she gets lonely. With that said, it doesn't really matter how many nights she spends at home with her mom and cats, it always ends up feeling worth it when she isn't hungover the next day.

4. Being the "party pooper" makes her question herself AND her friends sometimes -- and that is the worst part about it.

She gets the joking "you're no fun" comment from her friends so much that she starts to believe it. Even though her decision to swerve the party scene is probably a healthy choice, people do a really good job of convincing her otherwise.

She is sure of herself and the decisions she makes, but because she isn't the same as her friends, sometimes she questions herself AND them. And that really sucks because she doesn't want to judge or have any negative feelings towards the people that she loves, but sometimes the insecurities lead make her that way.

5. Contrary to what you might believe, she feels like she misses out on a lot of fun...

For some reason, she still feels like she is missing out even though she CHOOSES not to partake in the same things as her friends. She sees pictures and videos and hears stories, and sometimes she feels like a total loser for not being there to experience what it is her friends are always reminiscing on. Although she doesn't want any part in it, sometimes she is dying to be able to relate to your bar stories.

6. ...but to her, it's worth avoiding the anxiety that the "fun" brings.

Regardless of how lame she feels sometimes, it is worth it to her.

7. I promise she doesn't question your morals or who you are if you aren't like her.

She struggles ALL the time with this. She still thinks you're a good person, even if you like to go out and drink. In fact, you can still be her favorite person in the world, and all she wants is for you to know that she loves you even if you have some different ideas of "fun." She doesn't generalize you with the rest of the party animals. This part of it involves a lot of anxiety too, because no one wants to be the "holier than thou" presence in the room.

8. She hates talking about it.

When people ask her why she doesn't want to join in on all the fun, she has no freaking clue what to say. She has probably gotten really good at making excuses as to why she can't go out, and she probably avoids the conversation at all costs.

9. Believe it or not, she still has fun and wants to be social.

If I had to guess, she finds joy in coffee shop hangs and game nights with her friends. Her life isn't boring because she refuses to drink and stay out until 3 a.m. She craves quality time that doesn't involve alcohol.

10. She 's self-aware.

She knows who she is and she loves who she is. Regardless of numbers 1-9, she finds a way to be confident in who she is and learns to love her life exactly the way it is. She might not be the most outspoken, but it she KNOWS WHERE HER WORTH COMES FROM and she freaking loves it.


If this is you and you want someone to talk to about it... I might know a girl. Find me on Instagram.