5 Tips For The Girl Struggling With A Breakup

5 Tips For The Girl Struggling With A Breakup

Healing a broken heart.

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I can remember my toughest breakup like it was yesterday… I was a sophomore in high school. Even though six years have passed... sometimes thinking back, it stings like it was yesterday.

I think what's interesting about breakups is that they don't discriminate. No matter what race, ethnicity, gender or financial standpoint you are… we've all gone through breakups and they never get any better.

What do you do with your broken heart? When the one you thought was Mr. Right turns out to be Mr. Wrong?

It's interesting how we so quickly want to fix things when they break—especially when it's something as personal and intimate as our hearts. But I think, sometimes, in our deep desire to fix all that is broken, we forget what opportunity it might bring to increase our faith.

Some try to ignore it by numbing it with all sorts of things—drugs, alcohol, rebound boyfriends, other relationships. It might be numb but the problem, the deep scar, doesn't go away until we reveal it and tend to it.

So, maybe the thing to do, the very best thing to do when everything feels broken, isn't to gather up all the pieces and hold them all together but instead to heal.

And how does healing happen? By pouring so much life into a barely beating heart that it can't help but keep beating and growing stronger.

So, how do you do that? How do you live when you ache on the inside? How do you tangibly bring life back to your lifeless heart?

Here are 5 ways you can start mending your broken heart.

1. Friendships


If your heart is broken, realize you're not the only one. Instead of wallowing in your sorrow, extend a hand to the breaking world around you. Hold onto the people who are closest to you. This is an opportunity to grow closer to those the people who are going to help you during the breakup. You might have even neglected those friendships while being in a relationship.

2. Passions

This is the time to focus on the things you were interested in! Your passions, hobbies, interests. You start to realize how many things you put off spending time with a significant other. I was able to keep my mind busy and focus on something that made me happy and not allow negativity to set in and ruin my day.

3. Self-care

My personal favorite and one of the most important tips. Depression quickly wanted to emerge and take over my life and my mind, and so I always tried to stay one step ahead and take care of myself. I painted my toenails, went out with friends, put makeup on, got dressed up, took long and relaxing showers or baths, and reminded myself that I was worthy of feeling good about myself.

When I take care of myself, I'm more motivated and confident. I still fight depression in those moments, but I always remember who I belong to and how precious I am in the eyes of God.

4. Get out of your comfort zone

This is a time where you're probably trying to stay home and not do a thing. One of the best things you can do to help yourself heal is to get outside of yourself and outside of your comfort zone. That thing you've always wanted to try? Try it!

That trip you've felt called to go on? Go.

That person you've been feeling God ask you to talk to? Talk to them.

That job you've wanted to apply for? Apply for it!

That project you've been putting off? Do it.

The point is to get outside of your comfort zone and your bubble. Try new things, even simple little things like a DIY project you never thought you were artsy enough to do.

5. Music

Honestly sounds silly… But it's so important. Nothing is better than listening to a couple of good empowering breakup songs. This could fall under the "passions" category, but my best moments of peace and comfort have come through listening to my favorite music. It stirs me emotionally, helps me to focus on a deep message, and it can also spawn a spontaneous dance party, which are incredible healing during a rough day. Even during a great day, put on some tunes and dance around in your best sweats!

Lastly, do you notice how all of these ways toward healing are focused on continuing to shine a light and live in light in spite of brokenness? Shining a light and loving the world and living so big and full of life that light breaks through those cracks in your heart?

So, maybe you shouldn't waste another day worrying or waiting or moping around because there's so much life waiting for you if you step outside your front door and live it. There are so much wonder and glory and purpose and work to do beyond your broken heart.

You CAN do it. You can do that work and your heart has a need to live a purposeful life.

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35 Major Life Facts According To Nick Miller

"All booze is good booze, unless it's weak booze."
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Fact: If you watch "New Girl," you love Nick Miller.

You can't help it. He's an adorable, lovable mess of a man and you look forward to seeing him and his shenanigans each week. While living the infamous and incomparable life of Nick Miller, and obviously Julius Pepperwood— he has learned many valuable laws of the land. And, although Nick refuses to learn anything from anyone besides his mysterious, old Asian friend Tran, he does have a few lessons he'd like to teach us.

Here are 35 facts of life according to 'Nick Milla Nick Milla':

1. Drinking keeps you healthy.

"I'm not gonna get sick. No germ can live in a body that is 65% beer."

2. Dinosaurs never existed.

"I don't believe dinosaurs existed. I've seen the science. I don't believe it."


3. A paper bag is a bank.

"A bank is just a paper bag but with fancier walls."


4. Having sex is similar to delivering mail.

"I'm like a mailman, except instead of mail it's hot sex that I deliver."

5. Moonwalking is a foolproof way to get out of any awkward situation.

Jess (about Nick): "Now he won't even talk to me. I saw him this morning and he just panic moonwalked away from me. He does that sometimes."

6. Using a movie reference is also a great way.

Cece: "Come on, get up!"

Nick: "No, I don't dance. I'm from that town in "Footloose."

7. There's no reason to wash towels.

Nick: "I don’t wash the towel. The towel washes me. Who washes a towel?"

Schmidt: "You never wash your towel?"

Nick: "What am I gonna do? Wash the shower next? Wash a bar of soap?"

8. Exes are meant to be avoided at all costs (especially if/unless they're Caroline)

"I don't deal with exes, they're part of the past. You burn them swiftly and you give their ashes to Poseidon."

9. IKEA furniture is not as intimidating as it looks.

"I'm building you the dresser. I love this stuff. It's like high-stakes LEGOs."

10. You don't need forks if you have hands.

Jess: "That's gross. Get a fork, man."

Nick: "I got two perfectly good forks at the end of my arms!"

11. Sex has a very specific definition.


"It's not sex until you put the straw in the coconut."

12. Doors are frustrating.

"I will push if I want to push! Come on! I hate doors!"

13. All booze is good booze.

"Can I get an alcohol?"

14. ...unless it's weak booze.

"Schmidt, that is melon flavored liquor! That is 4-proof! That is safe to drink while you're pregnant!"

15. Writers are like pregnant women.

Jess: "You know what that sound is? It's the sound of an empty uterus."

Nick: "I can top that easily. I'm having a hard time with my zombie novel."

Jess: "Are you really comparing a zombie novel to my ability to create life?"

Nick: "I'm a writer, Jess. We create life."

16. All bets must be honored.

"There is something serious I have to tell you about the future. The name of my first-born child needs to be Reginald VelJohnson. I lost a bet to Schmidt."

17. Adele's voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.

"Adele is amazing."

18. Beyoncé is extremely trustworthy.

"I'd trust Beyoncé with my life. We be all night."

19. Fish, on the other hand, are not.


“Absolutely not. You know I don’t trust fish! They breathe water. That's crazy!"

20. Bar mitzvahs are terrifying.

Schmidt: "It's a bar mitzvah!"

Nick: "I am NOT watching a kid get circumcised!"

21. ...so are blueberries.

Jess: "So far, Nick Miller's list of fears is sharks, tap water, real relationships..."

Nick: "And blueberries."

22. Take your time with difficult decisions. Don't be rash.


Jess: "You care about your burritos more than my children, Nick?"

Nick: "You're putting me in a tough spot!"

23. Getting into shape is not easy.

"I mean, I’m not doing squats or anything. I’m trying to eat less donuts."

24. We aren't meant to talk about our feelings.

"If we needed to talk about feelings, they would be called talkings."


25. We're all a little bit too hard on ourselves.

"The enemy is the inner me."

26. Freezing your underwear is a good way to cool off.


"Trust me, I'm wearing frozen underpants right now and I feel amazing. I'm gonna grab some old underpants and put a pair into the freezer for each of you."

27. Public nudity is normal.

"Everbody has been flashed countless times."

28. Alcohol is a cure-all.


"You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol."

29. Horses are aliens.

"I believe horses are from outer-space."


30. Turtles should actually be called 'shell-beavers.'

Jess: "He calls turtles 'shell-beavers."

Nick: "Well, that's what they should be called."

31. Trench coats are hot.


"This coat has clean lines and pockets that don't quit, and it has room for your hips. And, when I wear it, I feel hot to trot!"


32. Sparkles are too.

"Now, my final bit of advice, and don't get sensitive on this, but you've got to change that top it's terrible and you've got to throw sparkles on. Sparkles are in. SPARKLES ARE IN."

33. Introspection can lead to a deeper knowing of oneself.

"I'm not convinced I know how to read. I've just memorized a lot of words."


34. It's important to live in the moment.

"I know this isn't gonna end well but the middle part is gonna be awesome."


35. Drinking makes you cooler.

Jess: "Drinking to be cool, Nick? That's not a real thing."

Nick: "That's the only thing in the world I know to be true."

Cover Image Credit: Hollywood Reporter

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