I can remember my toughest breakup like it was yesterday… I was a sophomore in high school. Even though six years have passed... sometimes thinking back, it stings like it was yesterday.
I think what's interesting about breakups is that they don't discriminate. No matter what race, ethnicity, gender or financial standpoint you are… we've all gone through breakups and they never get any better.
What do you do with your broken heart? When the one you thought was Mr. Right turns out to be Mr. Wrong?
It's interesting how we so quickly want to fix things when they break—especially when it's something as personal and intimate as our hearts. But I think, sometimes, in our deep desire to fix all that is broken, we forget what opportunity it might bring to increase our faith.
Some try to ignore it by numbing it with all sorts of things—drugs, alcohol, rebound boyfriends, other relationships. It might be numb but the problem, the deep scar, doesn't go away until we reveal it and tend to it.
So, maybe the thing to do, the very best thing to do when everything feels broken, isn't to gather up all the pieces and hold them all together but instead to heal.
And how does healing happen? By pouring so much life into a barely beating heart that it can't help but keep beating and growing stronger.
So, how do you do that? How do you live when you ache on the inside? How do you tangibly bring life back to your lifeless heart?
Here are 5 ways you can start mending your broken heart.
If your heart is broken, realize you're not the only one. Instead of wallowing in your sorrow, extend a hand to the breaking world around you. Hold onto the people who are closest to you. This is an opportunity to grow closer to those the people who are going to help you during the breakup. You might have even neglected those friendships while being in a relationship.
This is the time to focus on the things you were interested in! Your passions, hobbies, interests. You start to realize how many things you put off spending time with a significant other. I was able to keep my mind busy and focus on something that made me happy and not allow negativity to set in and ruin my day.
My personal favorite and one of the most important tips. Depression quickly wanted to emerge and take over my life and my mind, and so I always tried to stay one step ahead and take care of myself. I painted my toenails, went out with friends, put makeup on, got dressed up, took long and relaxing showers or baths, and reminded myself that I was worthy of feeling good about myself.
When I take care of myself, I'm more motivated and confident. I still fight depression in those moments, but I always remember who I belong to and how precious I am in the eyes of God.
4. Get out of your comfort zone
This is a time where you're probably trying to stay home and not do a thing. One of the best things you can do to help yourself heal is to get outside of yourself and outside of your comfort zone. That thing you've always wanted to try? Try it!
That trip you've felt called to go on? Go.
That person you've been feeling God ask you to talk to? Talk to them.
That job you've wanted to apply for? Apply for it!
That project you've been putting off? Do it.
The point is to get outside of your comfort zone and your bubble. Try new things, even simple little things like a DIY project you never thought you were artsy enough to do.
Honestly sounds silly… But it's so important. Nothing is better than listening to a couple of good empowering breakup songs. This could fall under the "passions" category, but my best moments of peace and comfort have come through listening to my favorite music. It stirs me emotionally, helps me to focus on a deep message, and it can also spawn a spontaneous dance party, which are incredible healing during a rough day. Even during a great day, put on some tunes and dance around in your best sweats!
Lastly, do you notice how all of these ways toward healing are focused on continuing to shine a light and live in light in spite of brokenness? Shining a light and loving the world and living so big and full of life that light breaks through those cracks in your heart?
So, maybe you shouldn't waste another day worrying or waiting or moping around because there's so much life waiting for you if you step outside your front door and live it. There are so much wonder and glory and purpose and work to do beyond your broken heart.
You CAN do it. You can do that work and your heart has a need to live a purposeful life.