We can't all always keep our promises. Even Alexander Pope knew that the basis of our being is "to err." But, my question is, where do we draw the line?
I have been promised so many things in my lifetime. I have come to hope and believe in these promises, my naive self dwelling in this constant illusion that everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. Lost in my own vain martyrdom, I have finally clipped my self-righteous wings and learned the truth. This is me telling you that not everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt.
I have realized that these false promises that your friends or family members make start out in the most minute of things. You let it go, never giving it a second thought. As time goes by the promises become bigger, and so does the disappointment. You start to disintegrate into a pool of quicksand and question yourself about the possibility of your irrationality pushing you to feel dismay. And it doesn't just happen once. But you, like myself, forgive and move on. Until you can't take the drowning tide of disappointment anymore as you realize there's no more paint left to chip.
Internalizing and probing your insecurities, you start to wonder whether the whole world has just given up on the basic value of reliability. Isn't reliability a form of respect and responsibility? And then you ask yourself, what does a promise truly mean in these times? You're courteous enough to reserve your precious time with someone, to do something of entertaining consequence, only to have them change plans on you last minute (for no valid reason). While at times yes, some reasons are dire and it is true that there is a basis for forgiveness there. But, most of the time, at least in my case, that wasn't necessarily true.
Which brings me to this: why would people rather seer their own tongue than be honest? Outright honesty, and yes I am aware of the redundancy, keeps so many issues at bay! Why is it that people would rather seem like they're invested, but won't be committed? Lack of commitment should basically be called out as a millennial plague; start something, finish something, and enjoy the journey.
Now people have said that my complacency has played a part in this false promises tirade. They argue that I have allowed these people to think that I am lenient enough to be disrespected as such. No, I haven't. I just had more faith in people than the average human, and I was wrong about that.
Where has loyalty gone to? The resilient spirit of friendship, respect and fraternity? Has it been replaced by our cliched obsession with gadgets, our desires to lead vicarious lives through the characters on the screen, and our vanity?
Has reliability really become so rare? Cards on the table, I have also subjected people to my unreliability over the years. But, by the end of the year 2016, I realized that something had to be done. I wasn't going to wait for the world change. I was going to change myself, and to hell with the world. It seemed to me a proper way to start my year. And so far, I've never felt dismayed at anyone. I attend my own kickboxing classes, enjoy my solo outings to the opera and museums, and this allows me to make my own schedule. I'm making plans with myself. Recently, I've been really clear with my friends. I've come to a point in life where I simply can't stand being immobile. I thirst for movement, vivacity and action in my life, and there is no room for any sinking disappointment.
