There is an empty armchair next to the fireplace and the deep laughter that once filled the air has vanished. Every time the front door opens with another guest arriving, a small part of you thinks that they will walk through the door, presents in hand. That will never happen again, because sadly they're gone.
Death brings peace to the suffering, but despair to the ones left behind. This is apparent during the first holiday without your loved one. While they are resting free of pain, you are left to celebrate without them. How does one celebrate without an integral member of the family?
Walking into my Aunt's house on Christmas day, there will be three empty chairs with nobody to fill them. My Aunt Lois, Uncle Billy, and most recently my Grammy, will not be attending this joyous holiday. The wounds on my heart have had time to heal in the mourning process of Lois and Billy, but the ache of my Grammy's passing the day before Thanksgiving still lingers. This is our first holiday without the matriarch of the family. The voice of reason and clarity is gone and we are left to figure out life's twists and turns without her.
The fresh grief is consuming with the thought of Christmas on everyone's minds. How do you get through a holiday centered around family with someone missing? The answer is simple. Surround yourself with the family you have left. They know how you are feeling, and they sympathize with the twinge you feel at the mention of the departed's name.
Reminisce with everyone about the good times you all had with the late family member. Celebrate their life and the accomplishments they made. I guarantee you tears will be shed and laughs will be boisterous. Soon, that empty armchair will be a welcomed sight as you treasure the person who once sat there. The empty seats at the dinner table will be taken in as recognition and respect for the one's who are no longer with us.
Honor the past loved ones and cherish the ones who are still with you. Heartache can be engrossing if you let it be, but your family will always be there to help. Your mothers, fathers, sisters, brother, aunts, uncles are all still there with you in spirit.
Christmas is a holiday about family and death will not strip us of that right. Loved ones will always be there even in the afterlife, looking down upon the family they have left behind and smiling, knowing they helped create a strong family who can stick together through tough times and momentous occasions alike.
Death is defined as the end of the life of a person, but is it really over? The memories will live on forever, their legacy will never die. This holiday season, hold your loved ones close and remember the ones who have passed on fondly. Always remember it is okay not to be okay, but someone will always be there for you. Family is forever, those bonds never die.
