The Empty Chair At The Holiday Table
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

The Empty Chair At The Holiday Table

In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers the wounds with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.

72
The Empty Chair At The Holiday Table

They always tell you about the year of firsts. How awful each first holiday, birthday, celebration, event is proceeding their death. And they’re right. They absolutely suck. Everyone cries all the while coming together and it’s really sad and it’s awful and you just want to go home and forget about the whole day. You don’t even want to celebrate it in the first place.

You go home and you cry some more on your own, thinking about what it has been like had they still been here.

Then, it’s the second year. This time is different. Everyone smiles and laughs and celebrates – “just the way they’d have wanted you to." We remember and reminisce. There’s lots of smiles and laughs and countless pictures. There’s stories, too; even the ones you know they’d hate to have been told.

The third year comes around. The whole family doesn’t get together anymore. You each do your own thing with your immediate family. It’s not so bad, but you’re still sad. Except no one cries. Not in front of anyone else, anyways. You eat dinner in silence because the lump in your throat is too big. Everyone else is quiet, too. Do they miss them just as much, is this just as hard for them?

The fourth year is here. I made separate plans. Everyone asked me what I’m going to do for Thanksgiving. I tell them that I am going to have dinner with my grandma. They say that that’s nice, and ask if she lives far away. I laugh and say she’s dead. In Heaven maybe, if that’s a real place. So yes, far away.

Yes, I am going to have Thanksgiving dinner with my dead Grandmother. I am going to have a cheeseburger because she always made me one on thanksgiving, it was tradition. And I am going to eat two whole cans of cranberry sauce because it is my favorite thing in the world and she always used to make sure she got enough for me to have as much as I wanted.

I am going to sit there, wherever it is that I go, and I am going to cry because I miss talking about UConn women’s basketball and my own playing basketball and my future and my dreams and my desires and life and love and happiness and work and school and friends.

I am going to cry because I miss her stories and her touch and her voice and her smile and her saying “I love you” or “I’m proud of you”.

And finally, I am going to look up at the sky and say, “I am eternally thankful I had someone like you in my life. Happy thanksgiving Grandma, I love you always.”

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

43836
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

117551
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments