Like many people, I started as a One Direction fan. I loved their catchy beats, long hair, sweet smiles, and their heart-melting accents. I couldn’t get enough. I became obsessed when I heard their song “What Makes You Beautiful”. While you spent hours on YouTube watching their music videos, you realized something. This something kept catching your eye, and you soon realized that it wasn’t a normal human. It was The Harry Styles and your life as you knew it was over.

While the boy band spent a few more years together, you just knew that there was something more for Harry. You became emotionally attached to Harry and felt what he felt. You listened to all of their new songs hoping for more parts of Harry because you couldn’t get enough of his voice. When the news of Zayn leaving the band came out, most of the world was devastated, but I was the happiest I have ever been because that meant more room for Harry to shine. (If you are obsessed with Harry as much as I am, you can all agree that the band got better with their last album because of Harry’s voice of perfection. We didn’t need Zayn (I am still salty.) But seriously).

When One Direction came out with the news of their hiatus, I wasn’t surprised. I was very sad because I knew that I wouldn’t be hearing new songs or seeing Harry in the media. Harry is a very secretive guy and likes to keep away from the media. So the depression began…

Until one day, when I saw that Harry Styles wasn’t very secretive…… He was very much in the media…… ON VACATION WITH KENDALL JENNER. WHAT. FRANTIC SCREENSHOTS, TEXTS, AND CALLS TO MY SISTER AND FRIENDS WERE MADE INSTANTLY. What was this? A new Harry? I didn’t know what to think, but I liked it. My man, Harry, living his new life on his hiatus with a model and showing a different side to him that we all didn’t know.

Hello, Harry.

It was a great day when Harry signed to go solo, away from One Direction. I couldn’t help but feel overjoyed because that meant a WHOLE album of just Harry. No offense to the other One Direction members, but c’mon. This was the day that we had all been waiting for, me specifically.

The days of waiting soon started.

The anticipation for this day of the album dropping had been killing me until Harry released the magic day on all of his social media accounts. MAY 12, 2017.

So many emotions were hitting me at once. I didn’t know what to think. I asked myself what are his songs going to be like? What would they sound like? Would they be the same catchy beats he once sang? Would he sing about his old flings with girls? Would my jealousy come out over these girls? What if he didn’t reach my expectations? What if he completely blows everyone’s minds and changes the way we all think of him? My bets were on the last one.

I will never forget the moment where I first heard Harry’s first single, “Sign Of The Times”. I was laying in my room and saw that it had come out and I dropped everything and listened.

I couldn’t breathe. My mind was a mess and I didn’t know what to do. I was at a loss for words because the man that I had been dreaming about for almost a year and a half came out with the perfect song. It was everything that I had wanted and more. HARRY, YOU DID IT AGAIN.

Harry soon came out with the news that he will be singing his new single on Saturday Night Live while hosting with Jimmy Fallon. I was overjoyed. One, I love Jimmy Fallon. Two, Harry Styles in the flesh (sorta) singing his new song, ALONE. The show was very good; it features many skits with celebrities. It was time for Harry to perform. This performance was breath-taking. I sound like a crazy person, I know, but that is exactly how I felt. I just stared at the TV in awe. The ending of the performance where he was singing with his whole heart and ran out of breath. His suit. The way he sang his song. The happiness you saw after he performed. You could tell that he was relieved that he was able to finally get his own voice out.

At this point, I was dead. His beauty. His smile. His clothes. His voice. HIS VOICE.

May 12^th soon approached. I checked my social media accounts constantly to see if it was released…then, there it was. The album was right in front of me, so I listened.

The emotional rollercoaster was at full speed. My intense thinking was going fast; trying to remember everything I knew about Harry and his past, trying to figure out what each lyric meant. HAHA.

Which song is about Kendall or even Taylor Swift? One of his songs is about a fan?????? WHY ISN’T IT ME???

It. Was. Beautiful.

I am still at a loss for words. It was absolutely what I thought Harry Styles would sound like. His sweet songs, yet almost depressing. His surprisingly upbeat and intriguing songs. His everything. His voice was even better than I had remembered. I couldn’t stop listening. I still haven’t stopped (currently listening as I write this piece).

It has been a long rollercoaster ride with Harry. I grew up with him and his different hair cuts, girlfriends, and albums. I fan girled over him when I was younger, not knowing who he was. To becoming an older fan girl, listening to his sophisticated, new solo album. He has grown into the artist that I always knew he would. He is now able to show the world how much potential that he has as an artist. It gives me life (I am scaring myself because of how emotionally attached I am to him and his music). I am so excited for him because he deserves to have a successful career as a solo artist.

I can’t stop listening to this new album. I probably won’t stop. I can’t stop watching him on television or videos of him performing his new album on shows. His interviews are perfect while he talks about his life and his journey through this new album. His different suits that no one else could wear these days. He is his own person. He is doing his own thing, and I value that the most about him becoming a solo artist. He took time to really make something of himself and I think that really shows in his new album. I am ready for another.

Until then, I will keep on fan-girling.