Each generation has had their infamous couple — the couple all relationships are held up to and immortalized as the couple to be. Examples include Romeo and Juliet, Scarlet O'Hara and Rhett Butler, Bonnie and Clyde, and in this generation, we have the most diabolical couple of all: The Joker and Harley Quinn.
From cosplay to couples costumes and matching t-shirts, the Joker and his leading lady are everywhere, and with the Suicide Squad movie literally around the corner, we will be able to see the star-crossed lovers on the silver screen for the first time.
Wanting to understand the couple and Harley Quinn as a whole, I sought out my old friend and Harleyologist, Kimmie Field, who was nice enough to sit down with me and allow me to pick her brain about the dysfunctional couple.
1. How old were you when you first saw Harley Quinn, and what made you fall in love with her?
2. How would you say she affected your life as a child and as an adult?
1.It was 1992, and she was a one-off character in an episode of Batman: The Animated Series called "Joker’s Favor," so I had to have been around seven or eight. She was a little different from the other females on the show. I wasn’t a fan of Catwoman because I just didn’t like her, and I didn’t like Poison Ivy because she seemed too much like a bully. Thankfully, Harley’s character struck such a chord with the fans that Paul Dini and Bruce Timm kept her around. She was silly and upbeat, something the dark show was lacking. Given the other females in the show, I found her to be the most likeable.
2. Harley made me the nerd I am today, actually. As a kid, at first, she didn’t affect me really. She was just this really great character that brightened up an otherwise dark TV show. But as I got older, I got progressively more and more into the comics and video games, then into anime, and finally into cosplaying. Harley was one of the first makeup tests I ever did. As an adult, Harley has gotten me through some tough times, as silly as that might sound to some. I saw a lot of myself in her character.
What tough times would that be? What did you see in her that you saw in yourself?
In my mid to late 20’s, I had two very bad relationships. While not physical, the verbal, mental, and emotional conflicts were very, very real. One I left, one I married. In both cases, I was isolated from friends and family, I was dependent on the person and only that person for income, food, shelter, etc.
To cope during the first one, I started reading more and more comics; I also began re-watching old TV shows and anime. I watched The Animated Series in its entirety again, and in doing so, I grew closer to the character because she was facing a sort of similar situation. She gave up everything for a guy, a bad guy in her life, a guy who was abusive in some way (but, to be fair, it was the Joker after all. He is who he is.) and she was stuck with no way out. Even when she managed to get her life together, she fell back into the chaos around her. I had given up an amazing job to move with this person, and in return, was called names, yelled at, and reminded that I was nothing on a near daily basis, and I had no way out. None that I could see at the time. The only thing I had going for me was he didn’t dare put his hands on me. I watched, re-watched, and re-watched nearly all the episodes with her and read more into her comics. I found the Harley Quinn series, and it focused on her going solo without the Joker. Again, as strange as it sounds, seeing her do it, seeing her make it on her own without the Joker, helped me get to the point where I put my foot down and walked away. If she could do it, I was going to do it, and I did it…at least for a little while.
The second time around, I found myself with a manipulator. I blame myself in a way because I knew what this person was like from many years ago. Gullible me, I wanted to give him another shot because he’s changed! He loves me! He really loves me! He can’t possibly be the same person!
A leopard never changes its spots.
Again, I was isolated away from friends and family, but this time, I was on the other side of the world! So, here we go, round two. I stuck it out because I had married this person, and I was going to prove to everyone he loved me, he wanted a family, he was a great man, and…Starting to sound familiar?
Even typing this, I can see/hear the scene from "Mad Love" where Batman is pushing Harley’s buttons to buy himself time to get out of her trap. He’s pointing out all of the flaws in her line of thinking that Joker wants to have a family, and she yells, “You’re wrong! My puddin’ does love me! He does!” I spent the better part of a year and a half in this marriage trying to validate it to other people. All the while, this man was manipulating my way of thinking and pitting me against the only friends I managed to make while living in another country. Anything I did wasn’t good enough, and I was reminded of this constantly.
Harley wasn’t the catalyst for what ended that relationship, but she helped out in the aftermath. Once I was home, to pass the time, I started with the comics again and tried to catch up on things I missed. One particular low night, I was home alone reading, and on a whim, bleached my hair blond. Something about the bright color helps. Next thing I knew, the face paint was out, my hair was in pigtails and I was laughing myself silly in the bathroom taking silly pictures.
Would you say the Joker is a manipulator of Harley?
What makes Harley so head over heels for the Joker?
Without a doubt, he’s a manipulator. "Mad Love" is Harley’s original back story and one of my favorite stories. It shows Harleen’s decent into Harley and how the Joker led her there. Before becoming Harley, she was Harleen Francis Quinzell, M.D., a psychiatrist at Arkham, and she caught Joker’s attention. Harleen got a rose and a note from Joker telling her to come down and see him. She did, questioning how the rose and note got into her office. Joker stated that he had put it there, then went on about how much he likes what he’s heard about her, especially her name. “Work it around a bit, and you get Harley Quinn!” Joker basically gave her her new name. Harleen starts to walk away, and Joker called her back and stated she could be someone he could relate to, someone he could tell his darkest secrets to. This attracts her, as she has aspirations to write a book on the criminals in Arkham.
Harleen works towards getting a session with Joker, and it takes months. Joker starts working on her right away. He told her stories of his childhood and how his father used to beat him. It was during those sessions that she began falling for him. She admitted this to him and in a roundabout way; to seal the deal, Joker eluded to having feelings for her, as well. The breaking moment came after escaping Arkham, Joker was brought back after being beaten to a pulp by Batman. Harleen is forbidden to have any more sessions with him, and she breaks. She robbed a costume store for her Jester costume, and she broke Joker out of Arkham, taking the name he had given her when they first met. Harleen was gone, and she was now Harley.
Joker’s manipulation becomes more visible later in the story, when Harley captured Batman and he stalled her, trying to give himself time to escape. I mentioned this earlier, when Harley started yelling that Joker did love her. It was the same story. Batman told her she was a fool for thinking the Joker could love anyone but himself. He begins telling her all of the different stories Joker had told over the years about his childhood. The knife twisted further when Batman retold one of the stories Joker told Harley, but it was a different setting. You could see the wheels began to turn, and she began questioning everything. Batman saw she was about to break, and kept pushing her. Joker wouldn’t believe that Harley killed him without actually seeing it. Harley called Joker, who came running to the scene, and the first thing he did when she ran to him with open arms was back hand her across the face (or so I think. In the animated series, the camera pans away. You don’t see the hit.) Joker then pushes Harley out of a window.
"Mad Love" ended with Harley telling herself that she was done with Joker. She finally saw “That slime for what he really is,” and called him manipulative…but her sudden realization was wiped away when she saw another rose with a tag and Joker’s initial on it. She went right back to calling him “angel”. He was in her mind, and he was in there deep.
What makes her so crazy for him…it’s kind of hard to explain. Anyone who has ever had to deal with a manipulator on that grand of a scale…or any kind…would know. They get in your mind. They plant little things. They make it so hard for you to function without them. Another argument I’ve seen is people claiming she has “daddy issues” and use the fact that Joker refers to himself as “Daddy” when speaking to/with her as evidence to substantiate their reasoning. Personally, I never really followed that line of thinking.
He back hands her... is he usually abusive towards her?
Pretty much. Whenever things don't go his way or he's decided that she's the reason his scheme didn't work.
He's the Joker. A lot of his character depends on who is writing him. In the cartoon, he is toned down significantly. In the movies, comics, and graphic novels, he's darker. But again, that comes down to his writer and what they want to do with him.
Joker started out as basically a crazy clown pulling pranks on Batman. Over the years, his character has gotten darker to reflect on the changing of time.
Can you go deeper into the abuse??
Kimberly Fields
Mentally, physically, verbally and emotionally. Every which way you can hurt someone, he does it. I think one of the most obvious, aside from the physical, is how he'll go off yelling at her and then seconds later lures her back in by sweet talk and pet names. But, Harley gives back as well. There are several instances in the animated series where she's at least physically retaliated back. There was one where Joker was cuffed and thrown into the back of a police van. Harley was in there dressed as a cop with a knight stick. The doors closed and they drove off, but you could hear the whacking sounds.
So she can be equally as abusive?
Pretty much. It takes a while for her to get there, but she gives back what he gives her. The entire relationship is pretty toxic when you look at it from a real world point of view.
What do you think draws couples to holding them to such high standards?
They're a powerhouse, iconic couple from a popular series. The new games and movies are bringing them more into the mainstream of recognition. There's also been a mostly disturbing trend lately where people are falling for these overtly abusive characters and defending their behaviors. Prime example is 50 Shades.
I've noticed that as well. What would you say makes people gravitate towards that kind of relationship?
The adrenaline it can cause is almost addicting. But, that's on a consensual level. Personally, anyway. People are naturally curious, and when something like that is thrown into your face and mainstreamed as being good and okay, how would you know the difference to begin with?
That's a great point. Do you think romanticizing a relationship like that of the joker and Harley could lead to domestic abuse cases?
Yes and no. Like anything, it depends on the people and what aspect of that relationship they take on.
It's hard to explain, really.
The people that read into it thinking it's okay to treat their significant other, be it male or female, in such an abusive way; they are the ones who have no business being in a relationship in the first place.
They're also the ones who have no business in the fandom.
What other super hero couples do you think people idolize that are also, well, dysfunctional?
Oh, man...there are a lot, but not many on that level. You could say Jessica Jones and Killgrave, but they weren't really a couple.
Any couples that should be idolized instead of the Joker and Harley?
Batman and CatWoman, Cyclops and Jean, Robin and Starfire.
One more question for you
What would you tell someone who is In an abusive relationship?
Most importantly, you're not alone. You're worth it. You're not what they say you are or what they treat you as.
You're strong, and you'll survive this. There is help all around. Take that first step, and don't look back.
And hell, Harley went on to open an Amazon Women's shelter in the comics. She made it out. You can make it out.
And you made it out. Which I'm sure wasn't easy. I was in a similar situation. He wasn't physically abusive, but he was a major manipulator and always reminded me that no one would want me because I was fat and disgusting. I took his words and made them armor; now I'm stronger, love myself more, and date an incredible man that loves me for me.
I feel like Emotional abuse is one of the hardest ones to move on from. Physical wounds heal, but the memorial scars they leave are worse. Words hurt nearly just as bad as being slapped. When someone tells you over and over you're one thing for so long, you start to beleive it, and it takes a long time to come back from that.
Toni La Fauci
Thank you so much for taking the time out to talk to me about all of this. I know you’re a busy woman. I truly appreciate it!
Kimberly Fields
Any time!
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, please reach out and get help.
1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).
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