Before moving to the good old “US of A” I had never heard of this expression, but after my first night living with my charming fellow residents of my dorm, I was well aware of its hilarious meaning. I believe for most of my friends back in England it’ll be a similarly new concept. In case you couldn’t figure it out, “sexile” is a portmanteau of “sex” and “exile.”
It means when your roommate commandeers the room to do-the-dirty with someone in peace, leaving you banished from your bed, work or whatever else you need. It’s simply a part of the college experience in America, where almost everyone has to share a room for at least a year.
A tell-tale sign of someone being sexiled is seeing the unfortunate roommate sitting on the floor outside the door of the room looking gloomily at the walls of the hallway. Perhaps, he or she is waiting for the chance to see the offending third party leave the room to give them a glare of shame!
Boys and girls tend to differ in how they regard a “sexiling” event. Most girls I know have almost never been sexiled. Girls tend to value their personal space more, which explains why dorm ragers are rarely held amongst the flowery décor of a girl’s room, but more frequently in the gross grunge of a guy’s room. Girls, it seems, prefer to take their business elsewhere. Two boys living together are often more willing to be sexiled, lest they be seen as “un-bro” or risk losing brownie points in the future with the roommate.
Sticking to a few basic rules for sexiling someone is sure to keep you out of trouble.
You should always give fair warning if you plan on evicting your accommodating roommate. It’s only fair that the poor thing gets at least a chance to make away with a few choicest possessions, like a refugee from the impending storm of college hook-up.
We go to a Catholic university, so please do the Christian thing and clean-up after yourselves, people. After you sexile your sad roommate, you should leave no evidence of whatever passed behind the locked door of the room! That would just be adding insult to injury.
It’s not an unknown practice for the “sexiler” to find for the “sexilee” a place to stay for the night. If you’re in for the long-haul, then this might be a nice thing to do. Perhaps a friend has a free bed in their room and is willing to take in a desperate wanderer for the night. However, this requires a lot of effort and the sofa in the common room isn’t that bad really.
Finally, avoid scheduling adult sleepovers during finals. If you really can’t help yourself, then wait for your roommate to go to the library or something like that.
Getting sexiled can sure be annoying, but trust me, it’s about a million times better than having your roommate be sinful in the neighboring bed while you drown out any noises with a pillow over your head.
