"Loneliness is a sign that you're in desperate need of yourself" –Rupi Kaur

Whenever I tell people that I go places and do things by myself they always reply with "Aw, that's so sad." Sad? No. What's sad is not being comfortable in your own company. I'm never lonely when I'm alone because I love being alone. Don't get me wrong, I love hanging out with my friends as well, but nothing beats a couple hours at my favorite coffee shop alone.

However, I haven't always been like this.

When I had my first serious relationship, I dropped headfirst in love with him without restraint. I didn't think about the possibility of losing him, because I never thought it would happen. I began to love him more than I loved myself. Inevitably, this ended in heartbreak and agony. I didn't just lose my boyfriend that I loved so much, but I lost so many parts of myself and my happiness as well. But the silver lining is that I had to learn how to get my happiness back.

I had to be that support for myself, to be my own best friend, to make myself smile. And after many tearful, lonely nights I am happy to say that I have come out the other side and I have found happiness within myself. I now have moments where I’m completely alone and laughing out loud, and I have to smile to myself. I am at peace.

So many people are constantly looking for fulfillment and happiness through external forces; whether it be trying to complete themselves with a significant other, or trying to validate themselves with through the opinion of others. But honestly, true, eternal happiness can only come from within.

I have witnessed too many people in my life, go from relationship to relationship, always filling the void from the last, with the next, but never taking the time to stop and realize that they themselves are the only one who can truly fill that void. Without taking that time, they are never allowing themselves the freedom and the opportunity to explore what true self-fulfillment and happiness really means. I remember telling this to a friend.

It was obvious to me that she was not happy with herself, with what she had accomplished in her own life, and she was instead trying to find that happiness with someone else. To this day it still frightens the hell out of me to see people relying on other people to make them happy. Don't take this the wrong way, someone else can definitely assist your happiness, but they should not be the root of it.

You cannot depend on another person for your happiness. You cannot predict and control the actions of anyone other than yourself. The only person you can trust with your happiness is yourself. I am not against relationships at all, but I do believe that you need to have a very strong relationship with yourself before you have one with anyone else.

So if you find yourself alone and sad about it, it’s okay. Don’t be afraid of it, instead, embrace it. Face the darkness that you feel when you are alone and embrace every aspect about it. Face it directly, fearlessly. For it is by being comfortable in your own loneliness, that you will eventually conquer it and start to see that you can fill your own heart with happiness