The Dangers Of Masculinity

The Dangers Of Masculinity

What does it mean to "be a man?"
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We are born into a system of twos. One of the first things children are taught is good from bad, right from wrong, and left from right. They are also taught the difference between male and female. This distinction defines our lives and shapes our personalities. For boys, being told to “be a man” can have multiple meanings, and not all of them are good. Men have many expectations and masculine roles pushed upon them by society, telling them who they should be and how they should act. However, this can have negative effects and even affect men’s health. Men need to be aware of these pressures and demands so that they can fight damaging stereotypes and overcome the binary.

What does it mean to “be a man?” People especially have been wondering, who has it worse, men or women? Results have shown that both genders have their own difficulties to contend with, and that as much as women face, men do have a lot of societal problems of their own. From a very young age, little boys are told to be “little men,” with all of the pressures and expectations that comes with. Many are forced into sports and stereotypical “boy” pursuits that they may not want to do, but are expected to because of their gender. Boys are told not to cry or show emotion, and thus “be a man” or “man up.” Men are forced into a set of expectations from birth. No man can be the perfect husband, be CEO, have the perfect body, be beautiful, athletic, intelligent, political, assertive, and rough at the same time. Our society still upholds this ideal and it is evidenced in our media, advertising, and merchandise. Magazines and TV show how to change diets, workouts, and sex lives to try to sell a version of this ideal to the "regular" man. Movies try to model their own versions of this in the form of James Bond, Indiana Jones, Rambo, and Prince Charming. Some of the most important gender roles exemplified in this archetype is being strong, aggressive, confident, sexual, and unemotional.

Hyper-masculinity is dangerous for men because it creates tension in themselves and can lead to harmful behavior. Men are risk-takers. They are more likely to die of occupational deaths and not wear seat belts and die in accidents. It becomes "cool," especially for young men, to put themselves in harm's way to show off and prove themselves. There is also less attention called to men’s health issues, such as testicular cancer and prostate cancer. Many people are unaware that men can get breast cancer, too, even though there is so much awareness now about women getting it. They also self-repress. Men are just as emotional as women; they are just told not to show it. Men are told that they are supposed to be cold, callous, and inept at understanding feelings, and this makes them suffer in important relationships in their lives such as with parents, lovers, and children. As the dominant sex, men are expected to do everything -- to provide, to fix problems, to be CEO, and to answer questions. This puts a lot of pressure on them. This could be why they have more frequent heart attacks, high blood pressure, and die earlier. Men also stratify themselves, based on where they fit in the gender binary and how masculine they are. So many pressures are put on men that this is often called "toxic masculinity," showing how dangerous it is for men's mental and physical health.

Cover Image Credit: ilovehdwallpapers

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To The Senior Graduating High School In A Month

"What feels like the end, is often the beginning."
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It wasn’t too long ago that I was in your shoes. Just a little over a year ago, I was the senior that had a month left. One month left in the hometown that I grew up in. One month left with the friends that I didn’t want to leave. One month left in the place that I had called “my school” for the past four years. You are probably thinking the same things I thought whenever it came down to only 30 days left. You’re probably scared, nervous, worried, or anxious. Maybe you’re like me and are dying to get out of high school, ready to start a new chapter. Or maybe you aren’t so ready yet. Maybe you’re wishing for a little more time.

As scary as it is, this month you have left will fly by. You’ll blink and you’ll be standing in your cap and gown, waiting for your name to be called to receive your diploma. You’ll look back on your last four years at your school and wonder why time went by so fast. It’ll be bittersweet. However, trust me when I say that you have so much to look forward to. You are about to begin taking the steps to build your future. You are going to grow and learn so much more than any high school class could teach you. You are going to meet amazing people and accomplish amazing things. So, as scared as you might be, I encourage you to take that first step out of your comfort zone and face this world head on. Chase your dreams and work towards your goals. You are smart. You are brave. You are capable of achieving amazing things. All your life, the lessons you have learned have prepared you for this point in your life. You are more than ready.

There are times when you will feel alone, scared, or confused. There are times when it won’t always be easy. But those are the times when you will shine the most because I know you will work through whatever problems you may face. Don’t think of the bad times as a terrible thing. Use them all as learning experiences. As author Joshua Marine once said, “Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.”

You might think that this is the end. However, it’s not. This is only the beginning. Trust me when I say that the adventures and opportunities you are about to face are nothing compared to high school. Whether you are going to college, going to work, or something else, this is the beginning of your journey called life. It will be exciting, it will be terrifying, but it will all be worth it.

So, as you walk out of your high school for the very last time, I encourage you to take a deep breath. Relax. You’ll always have the memories to look back on from high school. But your time is now, it begins today. Embrace it.

Cover Image Credit: http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1152445/images/o-HIGH-SCHOOL-GRADUATION-facebook.jpg

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Dear Senator Walsh, I Can't Wait For The Day That A Nurse Saves Your Life

And I hope you know that when it is your time, you will receive the best care. You will receive respect and a smile. You will receive empathy and compassion because that's what we do and that is why we are the most trusted profession.

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Dear Senator Walsh,

I can't even fathom how many letters you've read like this in the past 72 hours. You've insulted one of the largest, strongest and most emotion-filled professions.. you're bound to get a lot of feedback. And as nurses, we're taught that when something makes us mad, to let that anger fuel us to make a difference and that's what we're doing.

I am not even a nurse. I'm just a nursing student. I have been around and I've seen my fair share of sore legs and clinical days where you don't even use the bathroom, but I am still not even a nurse yet. Three years in, though, and I feel as if I've given my entire life and heart to this profession. My heart absolutely breaks for the men and women who are real nurses as they had to wake up the next morning after hearing your comments, put on their scrubs and prepare for a 12-hour day (during which I promise you, they didn't play one card game).

I have spent the last three years of my life surrounded by nurses. I'm around them more than I'm around my own family, seriously. I have watched nurses pass more medications than you probably know exist. They know the side effects, dosages and complications like the back of their hand. I have watched them weep at the bedside of dying patients and cry as they deliver new lives into this world. I have watched them hang IV's, give bed baths, and spoon-feed patients who can't do it themselves. I've watched them find mistakes of doctors and literally save patient's lives. I have watched them run, and teach, and smile, and hug and care... oh boy, have I seen the compassion that exudes from every nurse that I've encountered. I've watched them during their long shifts. I've seen them forfeit their own breaks and lunches. I've seen them break and wonder what it's all for... but I've also seen them around their patients and remember why they do what they do. You know what I've never once seen them do? Play cards.

The best thing about our profession, Senator, is that we are forgiving. The internet might be blown up with pictures mocking your comments, but at the end of the day, we still would treat you with the same respect that we would give to anyone. That's what makes our profession so amazing. We would drop anything, for anyone, anytime, no matter what.

You did insult us. It does hurt to hear those comments because from the first day of nursing school we are reminded how the world has zero idea what we do every day. We get insulted and disrespected and little recognition for everything we do sometimes. But you know what? We still do it.

When it's your time, Senator, I promise that the nurse taking care of you will remember your comments. They'll remember the way they felt the day you publicly said that nurses "probably do get breaks. They probably play cards for a considerable amount of the day." The jokes will stop and it'll eventually die down, but we will still remember.

And I hope you know that when it is your time, you will receive the best care. You will receive respect and a smile. You will receive empathy and compassion because that's what we do and that is why we are the most trusted profession.

Please just remember that we cannot properly take care of people if we aren't even taken care of ourselves.

I sincerely pray that someday you learn all that nurses do and please know that during our breaks, we are chugging coffee, eating some sort of lunch, and re-tying our shoes... not playing cards.

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