It's been one of those weeks already that I can't shake so here's an organized transition of my thoughts throughout the day.

I wake up every morning with the idea that I could go back to bed and just not go to class, even though I know I should.

I wake up every morning feeling like the world is a crushing weight on my chest and going back to sleep is the only way to hide, even temporarily, from everything on my never-ending to-do list.

I wake up every morning.

I move through the day in a haze I can't breach and it never looks the same.

I move through the day either wired and happy or sick and sad.

I move through the day.

I think about life and it's purpose, if there is one, and what I should be doing with mine.

I think about easy ways out and how I could just drop everything, yet I don't.

I think all day and night about these things.

I imagine a future and a life, and then I imagine it gone.

I imagine what I should do and what I'm capable of doing and sometimes those aren't the same thing.

I imagine all day and night.

I see my family and I wonder how I got so lucky and how devastated they would be if I were gone.

I see my friends and realize some of them wouldn't notice a difference if I were.

I see my life in front of me and yet I do nothing to change it.

I picture my relationship growing and thriving and yet I constantly wonder when it will fall apart, because it always does.

I picture losing people I care about over and over again because I open up, and they just walk away.

I picture my life going differently if I had the courage to leave it all behind.

I write about these things because I've come to realize I'm not alone in my thoughts.

I write because it's an outlet, and I'm a little more sane letting it all out.

I write.

I sing as loud as I can when no one's around because at least it sounds better than if I were to scream.

I sing because music is art and emotion and can lift you up or break your heart.

I sing.

I run from my problems and from the fear of weight gain.

I run because I feel like sh*t about myself sometimes.

I run.

I love my family, friends, sisters, and my boyfriend. I love nature and simplicity in life.

I love harder than most people because I hold onto it for dear life.

I love.

I fight because there's not really another option that won't hurt the people around me.

I fight because becoming a stronger person is never bad for you.

I fight.

I will survive my thoughts and the bad days.

I will survive my mental and physical illnesses that make living pretty d*mn hard.

I will survive.