To The Dad Who Wasn't A Dad

To The Dad Who Wasn't A Dad

You will never be my dad, you will never deserve that title.


A little more than 20 years ago you helped my mom conceive me, but that was the last time you really did anything fatherly. You abused my mother and yet, you still expected to be able to lay some kind of claim to me. You are absolutely ridiculous and one of the worst kinds of people. I tried to accept you, but I will never be able to.

You have never paid any child support, so the most you've spent on me is a collective $300 in my almost 20 years of living. $300. That's it. The most parenting you've ever done was when you practically kidnapped me for a year and, suddenly, you wanted child support because I deserved it then. After my mom regained custody, all bets were off and you didn't pay a single penny again until I was 19 when you suddenly wanted to be in my life again.

The funny thing is, you weren't going to raise me, but you tried to help raise your two other children. Or the children of the multiple wives or fiancées you've had. Never really me though. Even now you flirt with my mom more than you talk to me, and you're engaged-to-be-married again.

Your step-mom put more effort into our relationship than you did, and she even sent birthday and Christmas cards to my brother and sister, which she has no relation to.

So what's your excuse?

You used to pretend to care, usually around my birthday, but you never once actually followed through. Pretending that you would either send me the gift that I really wanted, something my parents couldn't afford. Pretending that you would come and visit me for my birthday. It was never real though. Not even slightly real. You made me believe that I wasn't worthy of you. I hated myself for so long because of you.

The only reason I even tried to make an attempt at our relationship while I was in college was because that was a condition of you trying to see if you could co-sign a loan for school. I regret it. You made me feel so uncomfortable. Especially since I knew how utterly horrible you were to my mom. Looks like nothing has changed.

You are a horrible person. I am so lucky that you were like a ghost—invisible to me.

So here is to the man who did step up and raise me. The man who didn't have to. The one who has put thousands and thousands of dollars into me and never complained about it. The one who has made me someone to be proud of. Some who ACTUALLY helped me get into college, even though you claimed it was you. So thank you to the man who deserves to be known as my dad, I am so thankful for everything you've done for me.

To my biological father, you really suck as a human being.

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