The Couch Made Me Do It

The Couch Made Me Do It

I can't believe I fell asleep again!

The Couch Made Me Do It
Medical Daily

We all have that one spot that no matter what time of day it is, we fall asleep. It could be the couch, your dad's lazy boy, or the passenger seat in the car. You could be watching your favorite movie, catching up on this week's episode of "Game of Thrones," reading J.K. Rowling's latest addition to the "Harry Potter" series, or trying to finish that essay that is due on Friday for your Literature class.

This couch doesn't care what you're doing. He consumes you, all of you, quicker than a blink of an eye. The couch has an "eat or be eaten" philosophy, makes no sense at all because how could you even begin to eat the couch (unless you're like little Melinda who ate a whale in Where The Sidewalk Ends).

You'll wake up lost and confused, frantically searching for your glasses so you can see the time on the clock, realizing that hours have passed and your essay isn't any close to being complete. Instead, your textbooks are upside-down on the floor, research scattered across the room with little teeth marks in it from your kittens deciding your homework is their new chew toy. You get up off of the couch to find that you were lying on your laptop like it was the teddy bear you used to cuddle as a child at night.

You might have woken up on a new expedition to find the page that you left off on in your book. Falling asleep unexpectedly leads to not putting your bookmark in between the pages, which is honestly my worst nightmare. Not saying that it's a terrible thing to have to reread a section of the book, but then it puts you behind on finding out what the author has been building the suspense up for all of this time.

You could wake up to Netflix asking you if you're still watching, not knowing what journey Netflix decided to take without you today. You fell asleep watching Pulp Fiction, and now How it's Made is teaching you how to make orange juice. You might wake up to learn that you are so many episodes past the episode that you fell asleep during and catching an incredible spoiler that you weren't exactly ready for or that ruins the entire series for you. It may not necessarily have been a terrible episode, but now that you know how it ends what does it even matter going back and trying to pick back up where you left off.

Thanks for nothing, couch. I just wanted to see what would happen to Chuck. Did he ever get some good luck?

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less

Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B just dropped the hottest summer single yet. It's called "WAP" and we're going to get into all the intoxicating lyrics.

This song empowers females and their sexuality. These women put the ridiculous music industry female beef to bed, and I mean tucked away in a coma.

Keep Reading... Show less

How To Write Down The Holy Grail Recipe Everyone Begs You To Make

Because everyone has a signature cocktail, cake, or pasta they bring to every potluck.


From back when I used to bring my mom's classic white chocolate chip cookies to preschool on my birthday to now stirring up my signature tequila cocktails at every friends' barbecue, I've always had a couple of standby recipes in my culinary rotation.

Keep Reading... Show less

Meet My Cat: Cheshire, The Stray Turned House Cat Who Lives in Michigan

I never considered myself a cat person, but Chess immediately stole my heart.

Madelyn Darbonne

In 2016, a stray cat gave birth to a litter of three grey kittens on my aunt and uncle's property. I had never considered myself to be much of a cat person, but these furballs immediately stole my heart. I got to watch them grow up until they were old enough to leave their mother's side.

Keep Reading... Show less

How To Binge-Watch A TV Show —And Then Write A Review About It

Writing your favorite and least favorite things about a show could not be more fun.

Photo by Mollie Sivaram on Unsplash

Looking for a new show to binge? Stop scrolling through your options and listen.

Sometimes a good show doesn't come down to the genre or the actors involved, it comes down to the fact that it is simply a GOOD show. If any of these things sound appealing to you, you should definitely watch.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

11 Reasons Why Getting A Cat Is The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Mental Health

Cats may mess up your puzzles but they'll always love you unconditionally — as long as you have some catnip, that is.

Scout Guarino

Alright, everyone, it's time to stop spreading the rumor that all cats are mean, aloof, and hate everyone. Like dogs, each cat has its own personality and tendencies. Some like a lot of attention, some like less — each person has to find the right cat for them. As for me, my cats Bienfu and Reptar have seen me at my worst, but they've also helped pull me out of it. They're a constant in my life and they give me the strength to get through the day in spite of my depression, and there's even scientific evidence to support it!

Keep Reading... Show less

I've been bleaching my hair since I was in seventh grade. Yes, you read that correctly, seventh grade. That's nearly 10 years of maintaining a very light shade of blonde that too-often brings about dryness and brittle strands.

Keep Reading... Show less

Chances are if you're here, you're probably interested in writing an open letter. Yay! We're excited to have you.

Of course, not all open letters are created equal. In fact, there's a recipe to writing one for Odyssey that'll get featured on one of our many verticals. When it comes to Swoon specifically (for those new around here, that's our dating and relationships vertical), we receive dozens of open letters each month, many of which are all very similar.

Keep Reading... Show less

With a new phone comes great responsibility: Do not break it! And the best way to do that is with a case. However, picking a case can be a challenge. No need to fret, I am here to help break down some of the best cases for the new iPhone SE 2020. Honestly, I think it's going to be impossible to choose!

Keep Reading... Show less

To some who have been out of the dating world for a while, it can be hard to get back into the swing of things after being single for some time. So, I asked 26 people what they think is important to know before looking for love again, here's what they had to say.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments