We all can recall the moment, usually a painfully awkward one, where our parents or guardians sat us down to talk about the “birds and the bees.” Well now it’s time for you to sit them down and have them wonder in silence while you have the “talk” with them. The talk I’m referring to is one I found myself desperately needing to have with my own dad just months ago; it’s the talk about college.
As a senior in high school, I began to realize I was talking about college to everyone besides my family. I would avoid the question at gatherings and run from the dinner table when the topic arose. I found myself only discussing my future with my counselors and surrounding friends when in reality, I should’ve been conversing with my biological support system as well. If you are anything like myself, you are avoiding this conversation because you either feel misunderstood or afraid of the outcome but take it from me, it’s hard to gain support for a plan that nobody has the blueprint for.
Money. Money. Money.
With the high cost of college, finances tend to be the most anxiety-ridden part of the conversation but unfortunately, it is the most crucial. While filling out your financial aid and comparing tuition fees, don’t forget to include your parents. Don’t just assume that they have money saved for you or that they’re willing to take out loans.
Or even worse, don’t just infer that they fully understand the process. As a student hell-bent on going to college no matter the price, I had to explain the loan process to my dad in depth. Whenever money is involved, the discussion can become stressful but the relief of being on the same page as your support system is well worth it.
A disagreement is still a discussion.
Do not be afraid to disagree. Yes, they are your parents and you might not want to argue with them but an argument doesn’t necessarily mean the discussion was unproductive. Even with disagreements, you can gain insight on how your parents feel and vice versa. It also gives you a starting point as to where to go from here. If you and your parents don’t agree on schools or location, this conversation often reveals possible solutions or maybe even compromises.
Go ahead and plead your case.
As a girl who decided to pack up her bags and go across the country for school, pleading my case was the focal point of my talk. I needed to express that San Diego State was and still is my dream school and that I couldn’t settle for anything less. It was an incredibly long and emotional conversation but worth it because, in the end, I got to share a piece of myself and my dream with the person I loved and wanted support from the most.
If what you want is out there, don’t hesitate to fight for it. Don’t hesitate to show the people who are there to help you exactly the vision they’re financially and emotionally investing in.
I would suggest having this conversation 100 times over if it means you don’t have to make this decision alone. Ultimately, the applications are in your hands but it is comforting to have someone in your corner.
This experience became so much more enjoyable once I had someone to get excited with and on the other hand, share my fears with as well. The "talk" may be one you are dreading but it is one you desperately need and your future self will thank you for it.
