I started my freshman year of college as a pre-pharmacy biology major. I’m ending it as a psychology major with minors in both music and in peace, justice, and conflict studies.

How in the world did that happen?

Let’s backtrack to my senior year of high school. I was googling various majors because I didn’t know what I wanted to do in life, and my Type A personality was screaming at me to get each detail in order. I came across a list of “good” majors (literally any engineering major) that would earn me financial success, and “bad” majors (fine arts, clinical psychology) that, well, wouldn’t bring in the cash. I quickly fell victim to society’s claim that some majors are simply better than others. Rather than focus on what potential careers would bring me joy, I chose to look solely on the financial prospects of various majors.

Because of my misconceptions, the summer after I graduated high school, I sat at the kitchen table with Gustavus’s course catalog in front of me. I scrolled through until I landed on their pre-pharmacy program. “There,” I told my mom. “That’s the one.” I’d done well in science courses in high school, and I figured that once I finished graduate school, I’d make $100,000 a year. Though I wasn’t excited about learning literally anything related to pharmacy, I put two and two together: I was smart, so I needed to have a “smart” major.

I entered my freshman year of college taking both biology and chemistry, planning to go to pharmacy school following graduation. Though I wasn’t passionate about science, I wanted a major that matched my talents. Two days into my chemistry class first semester, I realized that I would never be able to spend my life in medicine. It wasn’t that biology and chemistry were too hard, but rather that I never had much interest in any of the subject material. And if I was already bored two days into my first semester of hard science classes, who would I be in a year, after graduation, especially in ten years?

This realization quickly led to an internal struggle that would last quite a while into the semester. At the time, I was taking a psychology class because I adored learning about anything that had to do with the human mind, but I had previously dismissed potentially majoring in the subject because it was a supposedly “easy” major, not to mention it was one of the most popular majors on campus. I wanted to set myself apart from everyone else, and I didn’t see how getting a psychology degree would do anything of the sort. I became conflicted over whether I should go and major in something that would bring me a stable financial life and a guaranteed job, or something that would make me truly happy.

I’m assuming you’ve guessed it already, but I chose to follow my gut. I only have one life, so if I spend all my time searching for green dollar bills and not truly living, it has been a waste. Yes, my psychology classes don’t have clinicals or 3-hour labs, but the field presents its own difficulties. It’s not an easy major. My tired eyes from all the late nights spent studying prove it. Honestly, no college major is easy because each one requires a heck of a lot of time and effort from students. The world needs its STEM students, but it also needs writers, and musicians, and, well, every single career that a psychology major can provide. I was put here to fill up one of those niches, and I plan on doing just that.

I’m finally satisfied with my major. I know what I want. Though my occupational future won’t be what Google would consider a success, I will love going to work each day. And that’s where the real success lies.