The Cheap, Exciting, And Gross Southwest Flying Experience

I just love flying Southwest, or as I like to call it, "The Sky's School Bus." No assigned seats, no problem! The entire experience is surreal to me, and so I'm depicting it here:

1. Tickets cost lest than an Uber ride on Halloween.

2. You're waiting to check-in online exactly at the hour, on the hour.

4. You arrive at the airport with two, huge-ass bags that will fly for free.

5. And you're actually on-time cause you know a boarding strategy is essential here.

6. Then you wait in a favorably positioned chair for your group number to be called. You'll pounce as soon as it is.

7. If you're Group A, you walk to that waiting line like you're Queen Elizabeth herself.

8. But if you're not, you wait in misery seeing all the people that will sit before you.

9. You inspect the prospective row-mates to see where to sit.

10. No one too eager...

11. And absolutely NO CHILDREN.

12. Once located, you sit back and enjoy the limited, affordable space.

13. Added bonus: unlimited peanuts? Don't mind if I do!