I will be the judge in this case and you, the reader, can play jury. The court brings to the stand burning hot and ice cold. Which one should be exiled so that we may never feel its uncomfortable temperature again? This may seem extreme to some, but it's just the way this court system works. First up is the defense for heat. They say that heat is pleading innocent to suffocating and dehydrating people. Cold, however, at the same time is also pleading innocent to injecting numbing frostbite into multiple people.

These two assaults have been labeled as second degree murder. For those of you who may be wondering, second degree murders are not premeditated or planned. In second degree, the murderer shows a total lack of empathy toward the victims and disregard to what happened. In other words, hot and cold don't feel guilty about what they've done. Hot and cold have done some good in their lives though, which probably helps them to not feel guilty. Heat has given life. It's the parent of everything that has a burning life force inside of them, keeping them at 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit on the inside. Heat has given their energy externally to the community. Heat works at melting things so that they may be reshaped. You can say that heat is a mechanic, welder and a glassblower. Heat is an active contributor to our community.

Cold has counseled people and helped people to think more clearly. In fact, cold has surprisingly counseled heat at times. Cold has calmed heat down, so it doesn't explode things. Cold has also kept heat in check when it's angry towards someone and as revenge heat gives them the fever. Cold is there too, trying to battle it out with heat, convincing heat to forgive the person. Once they've worked the disagreement out, the fever is lifted. Cold also preserves life by healing and is a nurse in that respect. Cold is what helps wounds heal and it cleans cuts by zapping them with pure coldness and love. Cold also cleans the whole earth in just a a few months, removing the dirt and decay so that in the spring everything will be fresh and clean and clear.

Considering these developments, I as the judge am proposing we drop these charges. We need to tolerate cold and heat because they have what we need. What do you think, jury?