As you may know, Kidz Bop is a series of CDs that have kids singing today’s greatest and most popular hits. They are known for changing lyrics to hit songs to make them more “kid appropriate.” However, some of the lyric changes are either hilarious or just downright stupid. I’m here to bring some to your attention.
1. One Direction, “Story of My Life”
Original Lyrics: "She told me in the morning she don't feel the same about us in her bones"
Edited Lyrics: "She told me in the hallway she don't feel the same about us in her bones"
Because school hallways are always full of the juiciest gossip.
2. Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, “Thrift Shop”
Original Lyrics: "Probably should have washed this, it smells like R. Kelly's sheets"
Edited Lyrics: "Probably should have washed this, it smells like my baseball cleats"
Because R. Kelly < baseball cleats.
3. Nicki Minaj, “Starships”
Original Lyrics: "Can't stop/ we're higher than a mother--ker"
Edited Lyrics: "Can't stop/ we're Kidz Bop and we're taking over"
Is Kidz Bop really that worthy of being self-referential? Maybe kids (or should I say kidz) will think it’s great.
4. John Legend, “All of Me”
Original Lyrics: "Love your curves and all your edges/ all your perfect imperfections"
Edited Lyrics: "Love your words and all your edges/ all your perfect imperfections"
I guess this one is understandable because kids don’t have curves yet and that would just make them feel insecure.
5. The Script, “Breakeven”
Original Lyrics: "I'm still alive but I'm barely breathin'/ just prayed to a God that I don't believe in"
Edited Lyrics: "I'm still alive but I'm barely breathin'/ just prayin' to a thing that I don't believe in"
Because it’s OK to indoctrinate kids but not with atheism! But I guess this one is understandable too.
6. Icona Pop, “I Love It”
Original Lyrics: "I crashed my car into a bridge / I watched, I let it burn"
Edited Lyrics: "You drove your car across the bridge/ I watched, you let it turn"
This one just genuinely does not make sense.
7. Bruno Mars, “The Lazy Song”
Original Lyrics: "Meet a really nice girl, have some really nice sex/ and she's gonna scream out 'This is great'"
Edited Lyrics: "Meet a really nice girl, send a really nice text/ and she's gonna write back 'You're so great'"
Okay, that’s actually really sweet, Kidz Bop.
8. One Republic, “Counting Stars”
Original Lyrics: "I feel something so right by doing the wrong thing"
Edited Lyrics: "I feel something so right by doing the right thing"
Any opportunity to drive home good morals, am I right?
9. Carly Rae Jepson, “Call Me Maybe”
Original Lyrics: "I beg and borrow and steal"
Edited Lyrics: "I beg and borrow and feel"
Once again, Kidz Bop blessing the minds of children with good morals.
10. The Wanted, “Glad You Came”
Original Lyrics: “Hand you another drink, drink it if you can”
Edited Lyrics: “Hand you another dance, dance it if you can”
Ah yes, and while I’m handing you a dance I’ll also write you a meal and draw you a photograph. Great songwriting, Kidz Bop.
11. Cascada, “Evacuate the Dancefloor”
Original Lyrics: "Wrap it up / Can’t stop ’cause it feels like an overdose."
Changed Lyrics: “Wrap it up / Can’t stop ’cause it feels like it’s really close."
Okay Kidz Bop, is this lyric really that much better? Let’s be real here.
If you’re not already second-hand embarrassed from these lyric changes, then you deserve a trophy.
