Fall is a truly magical season. It’s got some of the best holidays, lovely weather, and it’s easy to dress for. However, there are some not so magical things about this season as well. Here are some of the best and worst things about Autumn.
Best: Changing Leaves
Every year, Mother Nature puts on a beautiful show for us all when the leaves change color. Gold, green, red, and orange adorn the trees in a living display of art and it makes for hella tight Instagram pictures.
Worst: Raking Leaves
That bitch Mother Nature took a big brown leafy crap all over your yard and now you have to clean up after her. At least you get to jump in them afterwards.
Best: Pumpkin Spice Lattes
While not my latte of choice, the power of pumpkin spice is undeniable. From the first day of September until the end of November, your local Starbucks will be overflowing with white girls looking to get their ‘PSL’ on.
Worst: Pumpkin Spice Everything Else
Pumpkin spice M&Ms. Pumpkin spice pancake mix. Pumpkin spice Oreos. Pumpkin spice liqueur. Pumpkin spice tampons. Pumpkin spice condoms. Okay, not really condoms, but I have the sad feeling it won't be long until they're real. When will it end?! NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS PUMPKIN SPICE!
Best: The return of The Walking Dead
It’s time for the second half of everyone’s favorite zombie action/adventure/drama/gore-fest/introspective-look-at-the-human-condition show. We were left with the ultimate cliffhanger and now we will finally have our answer to the gut-wrenching question: who the eff did Negan kill?!
Worst: The return of the climbing electric bill
Those chilly Fall evenings are perfect for cozying up with some kind of pumpkin spice bullshit and watching The Walking Dead, but once you see the steady hike in your heating costs, you’ll be reminiscing for warmer days.
Best: Football season
I love me some good ol’ fashioned contact sports. College football fever is probably alive and well in your city, and the hype is infectious. I love going to games on Saturdays and getting wasted watching my peers play for a cheering crowd. If you don’t follow college ball, then Monday night, Thursday night, Saturday, and Sunday are your new times of worship. The NFL season is rocking and rolling and it’s already off to an exciting start.
Worst: Football scandals
It’s sexual assault allegation season too! Scandals, crimes, and drama are soon to ensue, on both a college and professional level. Some guy is already making headlines for kneeling during the national anthem and it’s seriously ruining football right now because it’s all anyone can talk about. Get ready to hang your head in shame when someone from your team undoubtedly does something stupid and illegal.
Best: Going back to school
You won’t admit it, but you’ve been excited for this the whole last half of summer. Staying up all night and sleeping in all day has become banal and you’re ready to go back to seeing your peers and learning new things.
Worst: Going back to school
Jeezus were you actually excited for school, you big nerd? Say goodbye to carefree days of sleeping, drinking, and Netflixing all day, and say hello to Adderal fueled all-nighters, expensive textbooks, and mandatory attendance.
Best: Fall fashion
Boots, scarves, and jackets are so in. Frumpy is now stylish as you layer up all your old sweaters over a pair of leggings. It’s the comfiest season to dress for, and you get to rock plum, olive, rust, maroon, and all the best colors.
Worst: Ugg Boots
These things just won’t die.
Best: The Holidays
There is no greater stretch of holidays in our calendar than that of Autumn. Beginning with Labor Day (and a day off work and school) we move to Halloween (and the next best thing- the day after Halloween when all the candy is on sale!) and then Election Day (more time off), followed by Veteran’s Day (more time off), and ending with Thanksgiving (no explanation necessary). It’s an entire season of eating and celebrating!
Worst: The holiday weight gain
I’ve heard that the average person gains between 5-15 pounds from Halloween to Christmas. Between candy, turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, and pumpkin pie loaded with whip, you better be ready to buy yourself some fat pants for Christmas.
