Halfway through my third consecutive 20 ounce cup of bus station coffee, the young mother at the next table raises her eyebrows, not so much in disgust as in awe. My bus doesn’t board for another 45 minutes, my favorite character just died in barely half a page, and I have a three-hour ride in front of me, undoubtedly sitting next to another guy who promises he, “won’t bother me while I’m reading,” and then proceeds to talk my ear off for the entirety of the trip. The only logical course of action is to caffeinate, and caffeinate hard.
I realize that I have what may be defined by some as a problem. I can’t say I remember when the coffee addiction started, but it definitely peaked during my last two weeks of studying abroad, when I had left six 3,500-word papers to write the week they were all due. Scientifically, I probably shouldn’t be alive right now. Since then, I’ve been on a rollercoaster of, “Oh, I can’t, I’m on a caffeine detox” and, “Has anyone seen my big cup? I need coffee, now.” It seems that no matter how many times I swear I’m weaning myself off of it, for real this time, it drags me right back in -- not quite kicking and screaming.
Although caffeine addiction is a very real thing (shout out to crippling migraines if I dare to start a day without a steaming cup!), I think there’s also a mental aspect to coffee that makes it such a difficult habit to kick. Coffee is versatile. Coffee is chic. Coffee is a social delicacy.
When an old friend invites you to go for coffee, you’re not just going to enjoy a perfectly brewed cup of liquid happiness; you’re going to share a relaxing moment with someone you care about.
When you stand in line customizing your (admittedly overpriced) order, you’re not just paying for the controversial red cup; you’re paying for the experience of having your drink customized to your precise tastes and expectations.
And when it’s 3 a.m., and you’re two-thirds done with your final paper, and on your fourth pot of coffee that night, you’re not just ensuring that you won’t sleep for the next 18 hours; you’re inevitably convincing yourself, by virtue of the slight shaking of your entire body, that you can totally finish this paper before 9 a.m.. Coffee is a mental crutch for the fiery wrath of your procrastination. You owe coffee most of your academic success.
And, perhaps most importantly, coffee brings people together. Whether you’re a French press snob, or an instant-coffee connoisseur, whether you drink it the color of an oil spill or load it up with creamer; you see someone else with that crazed look in their eye sipping their morning coffee and you know that, on some deep level, y’all are kin. Practically soul mates. You and I understand each other on a fundamental level, buddy. I got your back and you got mine. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m just going to stand over your shoulder and let the beautiful scent waft up to me.
That’s it. That’s the stuff.
