“His heart beat faster and faster as Daisy’s white face came up to his own. He knew that when he kissed this girl and forever wed his unutterable visions to her perishable breath, his mind would never romp again like the mind of God. So he waited, listening for a moment longer to the tuning fork that had been struck upon a star. Then he kissed her. At his lips’ touch she blossomed like a flower and the incarnation was complete.”
― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
In the world of Jay Gatsby, romance is something of beauty. The moments spent with his object of affection, Daisy, are described with elaborate details that create vivid imagery for his audience. The physical effect of his heart beating faster is brought about simply by her nearness, insinuating that she affects him strongly in numerous ways. To many, this would be considered love. However, in modern culture, the portrayal of this word has morphed into something far less eloquent. Where there once were sonnets praising beauty and character, there are now songs highlighting the attributes of someone’s buttocks. The standards of romantic relationships have changed dramatically over the years. This can be observed through various means, one of which would be the arts. Through literature, theater and song, the portrayal of ideal romance has shifted from consummate to fatuous love.
Robert Sternberg developed the triangular theory of love that explains the variety of love that develops between people. He states, “The triangular theory of love holds that love can be understood in terms of three components that together can be viewed as forming the vertices of a triangle. These three components are intimacy, passion, and decision/commitment.” Intimacy can be thought of as connectedness between individuals, passion as physical attraction or romance, and commitment as the decision to love and continue loving someone.
Expanding on the explanation of his theory, Sternberg presents the idea that by combining these different aspects, various types of love are formed. For example, a relationship that is composed of commitment and intimacy would be referred to as companionate love, or one with strong personal ties rather than physical. If intimacy and passion are combined, one experiences romantic love, which focuses on physical as well as emotional bonds. When passion and commitment are found between two people then they experience fatuous love. The amalgamation of all three components creates consummate love, which is typically considered the ultimate goal.
Fatuous love is described as a whirlwind, the most destructive of the different types. Often it takes place between people who have just met and feel some type of physical attraction. They know little to nothing about the other, however, they “fall in love” quickly. Many times they make rash commitments, claiming that it was love at first sight and using absolutes such as “forever." These relationships may last for a time, however, there comes a sudden realization that there is no emotional connection.
This type of love is not one that most would desire, yet it is what modern society romanticizes through the arts. For example, in the literary work “Twilight” by Stephenie Meyer, the two main characters are drawn to each other for seemingly no reason. Even after learning that the other is a vampire, the female insists that she wants to become immortal and spend eternity with him. All that she knows for sure about him as an individual is that he is a vampire and that he wants to suck her blood, thus lacking on the intimacy component of a relationship. Because of the physical attraction and the desire to be with him, they have a fatuous love made up of passion and commitment. This book is the first in a continuing saga that elaborates on this relationship and has sold over 120 million copies since it was released, renowned as a widely popular young adult novel. This trending topic of fatuous love is also prominent in the world of theater, continuing the rise in popularity.
Roger and Hammerstein’s well known musical “Cinderella” was released on the television screen in March 1957. Through fantastical circumstances, Cinderella is able to meet a prince who finds her beautiful while she thinks he is charming, then he struggles to find her after she has left his ball. This is yet another prime example of fatuous love. The prince and Cinderella met for the first time, knowing little to nothing about the other, and after experiencing attraction he wanted to marry her. There is no scene where they talk about personal preferences, no long-term courting or even a personality questionnaire to fill out. There is no intimacy, and their relationship is built completely on passion and commitment. The story of Cinderella is a classic example of romance that is known by all ages, and it proves the fact that society has been romanticizing fatuous love for years. Musical theater, as well as movies and television, follow this trend, however, it is in the popular music found on the radio that truly exemplifies this fact.
In 1981, John Denver released a song titled "Perhaps Love" that describes love similar to what one would look for in a relationship that experiences consummate love. It states, “Perhaps love is like a resting place/A shelter from the storm/ It exists to give you comfort,/It is there to keep you warm…/Perhaps love is like a window,/Perhaps an open door/It invites you to come closer,/It wants to show you more.” These lyrics make love appear to be more than physical attraction. Intimacy is suggested in the last four lines, commitment in the first two, and passion in the form of romance throughout.
In contrast, the lyrics to "Hey Stephen," a fairly popular song released in 2008 by Taylor Swift, focuses primarily on fatuous love. “The way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name/It's beautiful, wonderful, don't you ever change./Hey Stephen,/Why are people always leaving?/I think you and I should stay the same./'Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel,/Can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain./So come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you.” The lyrics insinuate that the singer is only interested in the appearance of the individual called “Stephen," addressing only the way that he looks and makes her feel. She brings up the fact that many people leave and that she wants him to stay. This whole song is composed of physical attraction (the passion component of love) and commitment, wanting to “stay the same." These examples go to show that the idea of love presented in popular music has changed dramatically over the years.
Society’s expectation of love and relationships has changed throughout the years, shifting from ideals of romance to those of physical attraction. Through outlets such as literature, theater, and music, it has become apparent that emotional connections are not as important as they once were. Physical attraction and impromptu decisions are the characteristics that compose fatuous love which is easily found in these three artistic aspects of pop culture. Using Sternberg’s definition of the three components of love to analyze these aspects of pop culture, it is simple to observe that fatuous love has become the focus of today’s portrayal of love.
