Saying goodbye starts the moment you decide to leave and venture out into the unknown. It starts with every conversation after that moment, when people begin to ask “What next?”
Saying goodbye is a process, like grieving, grieving for those future moments that have been cancelled on account of your decision.
Eventually, grief leads to acceptance, as do goodbyes. There’s a point where the tears stop and your eyes once again become dry and clear, and in that moment, you can breathe again. It’s a hard, long road, though, and every goodbye will feel like a new knife between your ribs.
It doesn’t get easier to say goodbye, but it does become habitual. Tears become routine, choking on words becomes second nature for a while. It’s no glamorous state of existence, but it’s necessary. It’s necessary to move on, and it’s necessary to say goodbye.
It’s necessary to say goodbye to your best friend, though you promise to write every week. It’s necessary to say goodbye to your hometown, it’ll soon feel too small to hold your dreams, but it will always be there waiting when you need to come home. It’s necessary to say goodbye to your love, if only for a short time, and it’s necessary to cry.
Goodbyes are the hardest thing about moving on, and while few goodbyes are ever truly permanent, their temporary sting makes us almost believe they are.
There's really no graceful way to go about saying goodbyes. They're ugly: faces full of tears, chests aching and things unsaid hanging on quivering lips. The only reason we say them in the first place is due to their inherent necessity.
So really, there is no art to saying goodbye.
Goodbyes are about saying what needs to be said, vetting every emotion you can, and assuring that there will be another "hello." They're utilitarian, awkward, but if they're executed well, boy, can they be beautiful. There is nothing more beautiful than a goodbye that is confident in the fact of another happy meeting. And even in the sadness, they are beautiful, because each goodbye constitutes a lifetime of memories in every solemn word.
It's important to remember, though, that this somber stage of existence is normal. And while it's sad, it's also exciting. A whole new life awaits you if you're ready to take it. It's the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the reason your feet keep moving when all you want to do is stay planted.
It’s only through this that we can come to our own acceptances. It’s only through saying goodbye that we can begin to say hello.
