The Advice You'll Never Be Given

The Advice You'll Never Be Given

It's okay to not be okay, for now.

Moving to a new country this past year has brought me many new challenges and opportunities; some I was forewarned about and some, not so much. As soon as people in my hometown heard the news about my upcoming departure, everyone was quick to offer me advice about what to expect, how to do laundry, and what kind of friends I should make. However, looking back on this year, I realized that no one told me what I really needed to hear.

Advice came in handy for things like bringing extra storage containers for my dorm room or working on assignments as soon as they are given because something else will inevitably come up. People such as my soccer and fitness coaches helped prepare me for university soccer and the physical aspect of daily training. I also benefited from my parents' encouragement to put myself out there and join a campus organization as a way to meet new people.

After a few weeks in my new home, I thought I had it all figured out; I met amazing people with similar interests, my roommates and I actually got along, and I enjoyed my classes. Things were looking up, and I was looking forward to the next three years in this incredible atmosphere.

Then it happened. I sustained an injury that ended my season and made me question why I was 1,000 miles away from everything I had ever known. I’ll save you the sob story of the months between my injury, surgery, and my return home for the summer, which left me unsure of what I had gained from the last year’s experiences. Workouts became discouraging instead of motivating, as they had been reduced from squatting 200 pounds to lifting my own leg five times; however, I was determined to not give up on my dreams because of how I felt in that moment. I began to share my struggle with several friends, and although I’m thankful for their positivity, all of the "you-can-do-its” in the world weren’t going to miraculously change what had become the most challenging year of my life.

Then, on a particularly average day, I talked to a friend of mine who was struggling with her career choice, unsure of what she should do as she had just completed her first year of full-time teaching. She explained to me that through the entire past year she had felt exhausted and emotionally drained as something she thought would be so promising turned out to make her dread getting up each morning. She gave me just a small glimpse of the inner turmoil she had faced because the last year had not met her expectations and she wasn’t sure of her purpose anymore.

Slowly, I began to relate her situation to my own; we both tried something new for the first time, leaving what we had always known, and we failed to meet our own expectations. As I was selfishly thinking about my own predicament, she suddenly looked at me and smiled. She simply said, “all of this was going on and after my first week off, I realized that it’s not about me. It’s not about me knowing why I’m in the place I’m in or understanding what my purpose is in each particular moment. It doesn’t matter if I feel happy or if I exceed my expectations.” Though stunned at how a person can have that kind of inner peace while being unhappy, I perfectly understood exactly what she meant. She went on, “If I know I am where I’m supposed to be and I’m fulfilling my purpose for that particular time, my feelings are irrelevant because I know there is a plan for these experiences later in my life.”

So to all the new students, or those of you trying something new, it might not turn out how you want. You might not enjoy every minute of it. You may experience days when you feel like giving up. My advice to you is to take heart! You are here on purpose, for a purpose. It may not always be clear, but there is a reason why you’re doing what you’re doing. It's okay to not be okay, for now.

Enjoy these quotations:

"A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor."

"Tough times don't last; tough people do."

"Let your dreams be bigger than your fears."

"If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you."

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved

To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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15 Thing Only Early 2000's Kids Will Understand

"Get connected for free, with education connection"


This is it early 2000's babies, a compilation finally made for you. This list is loaded with things that will make you swoon with nostalgia.

1. Not being accepted by the late 90's kids.


Contrary to what one may think, late 90's and early 00's kids had the same childhood, but whenever a 00's kid says they remember something on an "only 90's kids will understand" post they are ridiculed.

2. Fortune tellers.


Every day in elementary school you would whip one of these bad boys out of your desk, and proceed to tell all of your classmates what lifestyle they were going to live and who they were going to marry.


You could never read this book past 8 o'clock at night out of fear that your beloved pet rabbit would come after you.

4. Silly bands.

You vividly remember begging your parents to buy you $10 worth of cheap rubber bands that vaguely resembles the shape of an everyday object.

5. Parachutes.

The joy and excitement that washed over you whenever you saw the gym teacher pull out the huge rainbow parachute. The adrenaline that pumped through your veins whenever your gym teacher tells you the pull the chute under you and sit to make a huge "fort".

6. Putty Erasers

You always bought one whenever there was a school store.

7. iPod shuffle.

The smallest, least technological iPpd apple has made, made you the coolest kid at the bus stop.

8. "Education Connection"

You knew EVERY wood to the "Education Connection" commercials. Every. Single.Word.

9. " The Naked Brothers Band"

The "Naked Brothers Band" had a short run on Nickelodeon and wrote some absolute bangers including, "Crazy Car' and "I Don't Wanna Go To School"

10. Dance Dance Revolution

This one video game caused so many sibling, friend, and parent rivalries. This is also where you learned all of your super sick dance moves.

11. Tamagotchi

Going to school with fear of your Tamagotchi dying while you were away was your biggest worry.

12. Gym Scooters

You, or somebody you know most likely broke or jammed their finger on one of these bad boys, but it was worth it.

13. Scholastic book fairs

Begging your parents for money to buy a new book, and then actually spending it on pens, pencils, erasers, and posters.


Who knew that putting yogurt in a plastic tube made it taste so much better?

15. Slap Bracelets

Your school probably banned these for being "too dangerous".

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