The 5 Stages Of Trying In-N-Out As An East Coaster

The 5 Stages Of Trying In-N-Out As An East Coaster

Walking in confidently and hoping you don’t sound dumb when you order something off the secret menu.
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Walking in confidently and hoping you don’t sound dumb when you order something off the secret menu.

If you ever find yourself out in California, and you don’t try In-N-Out, you're doing something wrong. If this is your first time going to In-N-Out, here are a couple of feelings you might have as you walk into the restaurant.

1. Optimism

Since finding out you were going to California for a vacation you’ve been looking forward to trying the infamous In-N-Out Burger fast food chain. Ever since your Tumblr obsession of 2013, those Animal Style fries have been calling your name. Now it’s finally your time to try them, and you couldn't be more excited.

2. Nervousness

With this excitement comes a bit of nervousness. What if you walk up to the counter and you order wrong? What if you get the wrong thing and it ruins your experience? If you have any of these thoughts, phone a friend, or perhaps Google what to get. Don’t walk up there and make any kind of rookie mistakes.

3. Restlessness

After ordering like an absolute pro, the long wait ensues. Minutes seem to drag on by as order after order gets called. Still, you wait. It will be worth it, you say to yourself.

4. Surprise

After finally getting you food, and getting the perfect picture on various forms of social media, you take you first bite. Immediately you realize that Five Guys burgers, and other places like Rushes, are absolute trash. It’s just you and your double-double burger, and nothing else seems to matter.

5. Sweet Relief

Finally, after the long wait, you’ve finally tired the famous In-N-Out. With this excitement comes a wave of something bittersweet. What happens when you go back home? After this, you can’t go back to regular burgers. You decide not to think about this now, and you go back to sipping on your Neapolitan milkshake. You will be back again before you go home to the land of sub-par burgers and fries.

Life after In-N-Out might be a little hard, but never fear there are going to be plenty around during your time out West. So eat it while you can and try to savor that taste long after you’ve returned back home. Among the other beauties of California, In-N-Out might even be enough of a reason to return.

Cover Image Credit: Rebekah Lindahl

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I'm The Customer That Doesn't Always Tip 20 Percent

I can be your best friend or your worst nightmare, but it depends on YOU.
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As a server, I fully understand that myself, and others like me, make a living off of our tips.

I know how nice it is to get a $50 tip and how frustrating it is to get merely change when you did everything you could to make the unpleasable table happy. I am well aware that an acceptable tip is anywhere from 15-20% and I typically tip way over that.
However, I can easily say that there have been times where I have tipped anywhere from 5-15%. In these times, the tip was well deserved...or not deserved.

As before mentioned, I am a server, bartender, and part-time restaurant manager. It is safe to say that I know the business quite well. This makes me aware of the tipping process and what is deemed acceptable, but it also makes me aware of what a serving job entails. We are, without a doubt, the worst critics when we are out to eat. We noticed everything you did or didn't do and we timed how long it took to get our drinks -- it's just in our blood.

We also notice if you are genuinely good at your job, or if you are just there to be there.

The key point to any serving job is knowledge. I, as a customer, expect you to be able to answer almost all of my questions. If I ask you something absurd like "exactly where was your lettuce grown?" ....Like what the f****? Who knows that? But when I ask what beers you have on draft, or what all comes on a salad, I expect you to know it. If you don't, I dock it off your tip. No, it's not mean, it's you not holding up your end of the deal when you started this job.

I know that sometimes you get busy and it's hard to cater to someone's every need, but I do expect my refills in a timely manner and would also expect you to check back with me shortly after I get my food to make sure everything tastes good. I feel like that all is just common sense. If I have to wait for five minutes with an empty glass before I even have the chance to call you over, that's going to affect your tip. If you never check up on me after I get my food, guess what, I take it off your tip. If something goes wrong in the kitchen or you forgot to put my order in, do not avoid me. Tell me. I know how hard it is to tell a table that you are the one who screwed up their experience, but it is so much better to be honest and shows more about your integrity than by saying, "I don't know, the kitchen lost your ticket. There was a computer malfunction and then things caught fire. The firemen had to come and put it out, and then they found your ticket under the smoldering embers...so that's why your steak is five minutes late.".... Just tell me you got busy and it slipped your mind. I'm okay with that.

The worst one to me is when I see my server on her phone. I know that today's generation has some need to be in contact with everyone 24/7 and I have learned to accept that. But when I need something at my table, and you fail to notice because your girl friend just broke up with her boyfriend who cheated on her with his supposed best friend...I'm not going to be happy. You are here to work and this is your job. And, not to be conceded, but I come first. I am the one paying the bill that allows you to keep that phone your on in service, so make sure that I am happy before Samantha can't call you the next time shit hits the fan with Andrew. It's common sense.

Despite all of these, probably the number one thing I look for in a server is a positive attitude. We all have our own lives outside of work, and not to be cold, but I don't really care about yours. I am here for a nice dinner and a night out to not worry about my own crazy life let alone wonder about yours. As soon as you walk into work, the outside world needs to stay there. Do not be in a terrible mood because your girlfriend is psycho. Do not show the customer that you simply don't want to be at work. You don't want to be -- I don't tip you. Easy as that. If you engage in even a small conversation with me, I will tip you more than expected. I am extremely easy to please and really understanding.

I know that every place is different and every store/restaurant has different standards, but I the guest-service industry all lies on the same guidelines. The number one rule is to make the guest happy. I am not that guest who asks for the world from my server. Nor am I that guest who doesn't tip my server if my food came out overcooked or doesn't taste good. I know what lies on the server and what lies in other areas of the store. I know what they can and can't control.
As a customer, I can be your best or your worst, but that all lies on the service that I receive from YOU.

Cover Image Credit: Wikimedia

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Why I Chose My Diet

I'm vegan. Please don't be alarmed.

ty_sez
ty_sez
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You aren't going to die

for my wedding. Please


go home that night. You

deserve this for once, to


palm open your children's

bedroom door and let


the hallway light peek

in so they wake just gently.


To lift them up and out from

their nests, set them in their seats,


and bib them. To then spoon

milk into their bellies


until their eyes droop and sleep

returns, tilting their heads


gently back. You deserve this

for once. We will be fine and


the ceremony will cement

without your blood.



I'm a vegan. Please don't be alarmed.

If you don't know about veganism already, it can be easily summed up as "a diet and/or lifestyle that is free of animal products," (my own definition). So, no meat, dairy, eggs, leather, wool, down, or etc.

People adopt veganism for many reasons including, but not limited to environmental consciousness, a sense of spirituality, or socioeconomic concerns. That being said, when some people adopt veganism, a certain sense of superiority may arise. This kind of unfounded condescension only results in further stigmatization and ignorance of the diet/lifestyle and is not helpful or productive.

Despite my personal decision to adopt the diet, I still believe that "to each is their own." I don't want to be lectured or ridiculed for my diet, just like anyone else. But, because of some condescending vegans, many people assume that I will be snobbish or rude because of my diet. I wrote this poem to hopefully remedy some of the ignorance about the motives for veganism and dispel some of the stigma surrounding those who have adopted the diet/lifestyle.

ty_sez
ty_sez

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