When we’re little we’re told we can be anybody we want to be. We’re brought up believing that we have so much to offer to the world and people around us. What we possess and contribute to our surroundings starts in our homes. We have roles we fill as daughters, fathers, mothers, students, and guardians. We spend eighteen years getting accustomed to these roles, perfecting them, when one day in August we find ourselves throwing it all away.
One day, I’m standing by cars hugging my family goodbye and walking into an unfamiliar room I’m supposed to call my own for a year. It’s not the four blank walls with a few half-unpacked boxes of my belongings that gives me uneasiness. More than the new classes, professors, student body or lifestyle, it’s the new unfilled role that I have to take on that fills me with perturbation. With my three new roommates, I find myself scrambling to place myself and place them into roles as well to feel familiarity.
Very quickly I come to see that Riya is the funny entertaining one who always knows the right thing to say and how to keep any conversation going. Riya is always bringing up new lingo and finding ways for all of us to spend more time together. Bianca is the soft and caring one who easily finds a connection and an open outlet with the three of us. She is always picking up on our small likes and dislikes and doing all she can to make us feel comfortable. Anjali is the understanding one as even though I knew Anjali before, I see she is stronger than I could ever have anticipated, and is someone we can all go to for advice on anything in our lives.
Yes, my roommates are that, but they are so much more. Riya is hilarious but she is also a skin-care obsessed, spiritual girl full of wanderlust. She is a fellow teammate in dance and spends the most time with me outside of our room. Anjali is understanding but she is also music obsessed and will sing along to any song played no matter what language. Bianca is soft and caring but she also gives the most honest opinions when asked and tough love when needed.
Over time I see that contrary to my previous placings, we are all roleless. All of us are living in “our home away from home,” and we have created just that. Rather than one of us being the mother, child, best-friend, or partner, we encompass all the roles. On many occasions my roommates have been my mom and reminded me to eat on time, they’ve been my sisters and gossiped and giggled late into the night with me, and they've been my best friends through my adult life. My roommates are everything to me, they help me style my outfit, plan meals with me, travel to see me on long weekends or breaks, and even sit in silence in my company.
We may not have known each other for as long as our childhood friends, but we’ve seen each other through it all. With most of my other friends when school ended our “playtime” would end and our friendship would pick up the next day after hours of recharging at home. With Anjali, Bianca, and Riya, there is no pause or hiding from each other. We see each other through all rawness, seasons, moods, and hours. For this reason, my three beautifully talented roommates are my pillars, my family, and I could not imagine holding myself up without them.
