My aunt just recently passed away from cancer.
I'm sorry that this is the first post you're seeing from me, but there's something therapeutic about sharing my grief with the internet and maybe with someone going through the same thing.
Aunt Pam was diagnosed with gallbladder cancer in 2017, right after she, my mom, and I traveled to Oklahoma City to see my favorite band (Hippo Campus, for those wondering) perform a Halloween show.
As 2017 ended and 2018 flew by, I and the rest of my family remained optimistic and were pleased with the results of numerous scans and treatments--no new growth! We were even excited to notice that Aunt Pam's beautiful, shoulder-length curls weren't disappearing from the chemotherapy. Though we knew the prognosis, (treatable not curable treatable not curable treatable not curable) we believed things would continue to go progressively well. 2019 arrived and we still carried optimistic attitudes, but everyone noticed a shift in the progress. Though it wasn't obvious, it seemed as though things were getting worse. Still, we continued to hug tight, hold hands, smile big (although, I'm guilty of providing some fake ones), and whisper small prayers every night.
2020, as I'm sure we're all aware by now, lacked the good feelings we had held onto. After two weeks of 24-hour care from kind friends and hospice, Aunt Pam passed away on June 13th around 7:30 pm.
One of the things I loved most about Aunt Pam is her incredible knack to make everyone in a room feel like they were the most important ones there while giving her full undivided attention. Aunt Pam didn't do this to just be polite, she GENUINELY wanted to hear what you had to say. She simply loved people and making connections. She would go out of her way to talk to someone even if we were in the line at a glasses store, eating at a restaurant, or getting a drink from QuikTrip. Without fail, each person would smile. Aunt Pam was human sunshine in that sense. She left those around her with warm feelings and happiness. No one was ever a stranger to Aunt Pam. She loved everyone and everything recklessly and wholly, never ceasing to express her gratitude for great family, friends, music and the list goes on.
Another thing that I loved is how she was ready for every adventure, especially if it included her nieces and nephew. And the fact that if Mom said no, Aunt Pam would ALWAYS say yes. She was always ready to accompany you at every opportunity. Some of my fondest memories include traveling with Aunt Pam and watching her dance in the passenger seat, or meeting her at the beach during my spring break and one of her many MD Anderson trips. She always found ways to bring the fun to a scary situation. She made the best of a bad deal. I know, without uncertainty, she is now experiencing the adventure of a lifetime. One where she is reunited with her mother and her best friend. One where she has the best seat in the house to the Tom Petty concert. One where her body can feel peace.
I could probably spend hours talking about Aunt Pam. How cool is that? I feel truly lucky to have so much material on this one-of-a-kind woman. She is the type of person I can only imagine appearing in the universe once in a lifetime. I found this terribly upsetting at first. I found myself crying over her too-short existence instead of rejoicing in the fact I was able to know and love Pamela Maleen True. I am thrilled that her imprint has left an everlasting mark on myself and others. Even though Post Malone will never sound the same, chocolate will never taste the same, and sunflowers will never possess the same bright yellow, I know that it's worth the 19 years of memories I was able to share with Aunt Pam. I will no longer fear the bad days to come, knowing now that she has provided her outer-earthly guidance. I feel immense gratitude in the fact that I can still hear her soft-spoken "I love you" echoing through my ears. She threw her love around to everyone--and meant it. She may not have realized at all times, but she was truly a role model. In being an exceptional aunt, a wonderful sister, an amazing friend, and a crazy strong lady who fought cancer with every fiber of her being. She is my hero.
To conclude, Peace, Love, and Shawn Mendes. And of course, Go Pokes. If you know, you know.
