As the wise Haddaway once sang, “What is Love?” I, too once asked myself that same question. Love is one of the most unknowing and yet inspiring factors to life that makes the sunshine brighter and the stars more mystical. Love comes in many forms yet remains a constant critical aspect of life. We at some point in our life experience what it feels to find love, but to lose it. This can be felt when you miss your soulmate or when you experience your first heart break. A relationship, and I mean a successful one, is extremely hard to develop. Some couples will go straight to third base without even stepping up to home with a goal in mind. I firmly believe that in order to love someone dearly you must experience what it feels to be without someone you care for.
In the next few weeks, I will be explaining the ten most crucial aspects to a successful relationship. I will summarize them now in “Top 7 Aspects To A Successful Relationship”.
1. Never say, “I love you,” unless you truly mean it.
One of the most common errors to relationships is saying the magical three worded phrase before you actually understand what love is. My dad always told me, “Don’t say I love you till you actually mean it.” I never understood what he meant. A relationship takes time and definitely should not begin with, “I love you.” This sounds harsh, but liking someone at first is healthier than loving someone. It takes time for love to form.
2. Communication, communication and communication.
A relationship works like a dance. "It takes two to tango" summarizes how a relationship flows. In order for the other person to understand what the next “dance move” is in your relationship communication is key. Relationships where communication is not existent will result in numerous disagreements and less happy conversations. Whenever a problem occurs, never ever result to miscommunication. Make sure that your loved one understands your passions, your desires and your future.
3. “Going Dutch” is a sign of love, not a sign of selfishness.
“Going Dutch” means that when you and your couple are going out to eat that you will both pay separately. One bad factor to a relationship is when spending money becomes more important than quality time. See each meal as a date by the means of the quality time you spend with each other rather than pulling the wallet of your loved one. Never demand money from your significant other and definitely do not get mad if they do not pay for your meal. Society always depicts a relationship as being unrequited or one sided. In the beginning this may be a rare practice as each person will feel the need to always pay for the meal. It never hurts to go Dutch, but sometimes it is a treat to unexpectedly pay for the meal, but this in itself carries a “user discretion is advised” label. A healthy relationship is considering the financial stability of the other person.
4. Avoid the “social media post” relationship.
#WeAreInLove may not always be true. Always avoid reaching out to a social media to proclaim your love to the world. I have seen a lot of posts where couples are amazing together, but when you see them in public you wonder where that “filter” went. It is OK to every now and then to show the world how exuberant you feel about your loved one, but the post must always match the reality. Do not live two separate relationships: one virtual and one reality.
5. Conflict is good, not bad.
There is a saying that a sword must sharpen another sword. In a relationship, conflict strengthens future decision making. It is completely normal to have disagreements with each other in views or how to handle situations. Both of you are not from the same tree, unless you like stuff like that, so you are both bound to differ on things greatly whether it be about politics, religion, social issues, or even education. Always talk to your loved one about how to resolve the difference and be able to develop an “immunity” if a future conflict occurs that is similar.
6. Show that PDA! (In a cute way.)
Public displays of affection have always had a bad rep. Now, I am not talking about French kissing so that someone ends up with a Van Gogh gift of a tongue, I am referring to holding hands and kissing like normal human being. If you are shy in public never push your loved one away. Encourage holding hands and kissing on the cheek so that you are comfortable with displaying how much you love each other in a mature manner.
7. Commitment, trust and loyalty (in a hamburger metaphor).
A relationship is like a hamburger. You and your loved one are the buns that keep all the ingredients of love together under one sesame seed. It takes a lot of ingredients to perfect the relationship aka hamburger. There are many “McDonald’s hamburgers” out there, but only the well-built “Red Robin hamburgers” will stand tall during any storm. In simpler terms, commitment, trust, and loyalty are all the main ingredients of a relationship. Without one of these ingredients balanced properly with each other the relationship will struggle till the relationship is mended. All of these ingredients of love come with time and patience from both people.
Check out my article next week, “The Meaning To I Love You” to begin our series! This is the Love Guru, signing off!
