It’s a corny icebreaker question practically as old as time: “If you could have dinner with one person, dead or alive, who would it be? Well, I say, why have one over when you can have them all, and just in time for some Thanksgiving grub!
Yeah, we love our real-life family and friends to the moon and back, but there are times when we do wish we knew America’s sweethearts and celeb crushes, and could invite them to the crib on Turkey Day, too.
Call me crazy, but these are the stars I wouldn’t mind at all sharing the holiday with.
1. Emeril Lagasse
Because I’d know he’d somehow manage to make that infamously dry turkey juicier than ever, and put some “respek” on that bird’s name.
Because when that second cousin (twice removed) goes in to pinch my cheeks for the fifth year in a row, I’m going to need someone with freakishly large arms to swoop in and whisk me away, just in the nick of time.
3. Michelle Obama
Because I need someone to talk me off the ledge when I’m on my fourth helping of sweet potato pie, and am STRONGLY considering a fifth. As the great Louis C.K. once said, “The meal isn’t over when I’m full, the meal is over when I hate myself.”
4. Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, Chris Pratt and Chris Pine
Because everyone needs a hot Chris in their life...or two...or four.
5. Chance the Rapper
Because you know the way he blesses his food must be thebomb.com, and I’m going to need to catch this holy spirit, long before I catch this “itis.”
6. Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard
Because they’re just so stinking cute. Between that sloth video and their home electronics commercials, I just want to bask in their #relationshipgoals and take notes.
7. The “Stranger Things” Kids
Because I can only handle talking about grown-up issues for like, 30 minutes. After that, holler if you need me. I’ll be at the kiddy table.
8. Lin Manuel-Miranda
Because “Hamilton” is Ev.Er.Ee.Thang. And when the conversation gets dull, I’m going to need someone to bring us back to life with a killer freestyle.
9. Emma Watson
Because 1. I just really need to talk to someone about the live-action “Beauty and the Beast” film coming out next year. And 2. I just really need someone to hold my hand when then men start flipping tables over the Golden State Warriors.
10. Charlamagne tha God
Because everyone needs that one guy with no filter and no chill, to buy the tea, make the tea, pour the tea and spill the tea.
11. Jessica Williams
Because political bickering around the dinner table is so obnoxious, but I have a feeling with her there, I’d be giving standing ovations all night.
12. Alan Rickman
Because embarassing myself while trying to throw him my best Severus Snape impressions over mashed potatoes and gravy would have been a memory I highly regarded as the highlight of my entire life.
13. Patti Labelle
Because her vocals are on point, her pies are on point, her moves are on point, she’s just ON. POINT.
Sigh, a girl can dream, right? Well, happy Thanksgiving! And cheers to everyone, even all us little people.
