Dear Clara,
You are, still, to this day, the best birthday present I ever got. I remember that morning on my eighth birthday, sitting in the car driving to come see you for the first time. Eight-year-old me was trying to play it cool for some reason; I had it in my head I was going to go see you, but I wasn’t going to settle for the first puppy I saw.
I remember, so clearly, opening up the door to step out of the car and being rushed to you immediately. You definitely knew I was yours before I realized you were mine. Your small, spotted, pink paws jumped on top of me, and you immediately tried to lick my face. I was laughing. Your brothers and sisters all came to say hello to me, but you hardly left my side. I can recall sitting in the grass with you in my lap and turning to tell my mom, telling her you were the one. She held you during the whole car ride home, a car ride you spent the entirety of whining and crying for your own mom.
I named you Clara because the Nutcracker was the first ballet I had ever seen, and at that point in my life, I was sure I was going to be principal dancer one day. I remember you running around the maze of the backyard, and I remember you getting bigger and bigger.
You’re one of the best mom’s I know. Late at night in my parent’s bedroom, you gave birth to 11 puppies, all surviving. You fed all of them, cared for all of them, and I have never been more proud of you, and after they left, you came to my room and slept at my feet looking for warmth at night.
But, even though, I helped you at that point in your life, you stood by me so many more times. Without fail, every time I was upset or scared, you’d walk right into my room, hop onto my bed and sit there to protect me. When I would come home late at night, you’d be staying up waiting for me, making sure I got home OK.
At every major juncture my life has taken, you’ve been right there by my side. I remember packing up for college the night before move-in, and I remember you lying down between me and your suitcase. Every time I come home now, you always show me how upset you are I left, and you ignore me, but by evening, you’re sitting right at my heel again. And every time I leave, you break my heart with your cries I can hear from the garage.
You’re the most jealous dog I’ve ever met, but I love that you crave my love and attention. Thank you for always being by my side when I needed someone to keep the monsters away at night, and thank you for licking my face in the morning when you can’t wait until I get up. Now that you’re getting older and you can’t run so fast or jump so high, and now that I’m not around to tell you how much I love you every day, I just want to write this letter to you letting you know I won’t ever forget all of the love you gave and continue to show me.
