Things I Should Have Already Said To My Mom And Dad

Things I Should Have Already Said To My Mom And Dad

"You are stronger than you think" — My mom

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I told myself that when I moved to Auburn for my freshman year of college that I would be fine, that I would be OK without my parents over my shoulder all the time and that I could handle myself. Within the first week, I must have called my mom at least once a day every day for the simplest of things. I missed their faces and could hear their voices in my head when I made the smallest of decisions.

Now, it is the end of my first semester and though I call them a lot less, I miss them a lot more.

Some people wouldn't understand. They don't have the relationship with their parents that I have with mine. It's a love-hate thing. I love to annoy them and they say they hate it, but secretly wait for my texts and calls. They're there for me when I need the smallest of things and I don't think I've ever been more aware of just how much they support me, provide for me, and care for me. There have been many things that I've meant to say over the years that I never quite figured out how.

So this one's for them.

Dear Dad,

Throughout the last seven years, you have been giving me so much advice it could fill a book. We've had hundreds of arguments but in the end, we were still fine. You've taught me a lot of things but the most important is that failure is not an option. I remind myself every day and sometimes I have to remind my friends. It drives me to always do my best. So I know you're not used to hearing me say it, but thank you and I am grateful for all the drama that we've been through.

Dear Mom,

You continue to take care of me even though I annoy you beyond anyone you've ever known. You are the one I've always looked up to, the person I strive to be like and the person I'll always turn to for advice when it really matters. We've seen the dark side of each other and you know me better than anyone else in the world. I'm proud of you and all the things you've accomplished in life and hope that someday I can come close. I know parents always want their kids to do better than they did themselves, but if I end up like you, I think I'd be happy in life.

To Them Both,

Thank you means so little when compared to the countless things I've put you through and the things you've done for me. You have let me evolve into this semi-adult version of myself that I am today and I couldn't be happier. I'm sorry I don't come home often and call less, but I am trying to do better for myself, or at least the best I can. It's difficult at times and I hope you know I don't mean to hurt any feelings, ignore any texts or not call back. Some things are hard to keep up with, and some things I have to do on my own.

I love you both, and I'll be home soon.

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To The Grandmothers Who Made Us The Women We Are Today

Sincerely, the loving granddaughters.
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The relationship between a grandmother and her granddaughter is something so uniquely special and something to be treasured forever.

Your grandma loves you like you are her own daughter and adores you no matter what. She is the first person you run to when you have a problem with your parents and she never fails to grace you with the most comforting advice.

She may be guilty of spoiling you rotten but still makes sure to stress the importance of being thankful and kind.

Your grandma has most likely lived through every obstacle that you are experiencing now as a young adult and always knows just exactly what to say.

She grew up in another generation where things were probably much harder for young women than they are today.

She is a walking example of perseverance, strength, and grace who you aim to be like someday.

Your grandma teaches you the lessons she had to learn the hard way because she does not want you to make the same mistakes she did when she was growing up.

Her hugs never fail to warm your heart, her smile never fails to make you smile, and her laugh never fails to brighten your day.

She inspires you to be the best version of yourself that you can be.

You only hope that one day you can be the mother and grandmother she was to you.

A piece of girl’s heart will forever belong to her grandma that no one could ever replace.

She is the matriarch of your family and is the glue that holds you all together.

Grandmothers play such an important role in helping their granddaughters to grow into strong, intelligent, kind women.

She teaches you how to love and how to forgive.

Without the unconditional love of your grandma, you would not be the woman you are today.

To all of the grandmothers out there, thank you for being you.

Sincerely,

the loving granddaughters

Cover Image Credit: Carlie Konuch

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Losing A Parent Is The Hardest Thing To Go Through In Life But I Know My Dad Is Watching Over Me

Looking back to the day I lost one of my parents.

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On Wednesday, April 27, 2011, I faced the biggest challenge of my life. I was finishing my breakfast when my dad walked into the kitchen and said, "Daddy loves you, be a good girl." Off to work he went. My grandma was watching my brother and I that day. She told us to go get dressed because we needed to go to the hospital. When we arrived at the hospital, it was pouring down the rain, and we were all soaked. Bryan and I found it hilarious; however, my grandma did not.

We were led into a room where I saw my mom and a tall man standing in the corner. Who I later found was my half brother that I hadn't seen since I was younger. Only being eleven years old, there was an innocence and invincibility to me. I didn't know pain or how life really worked. My mom was crying hard and I couldn't understand why. "Daddy passed away." The words seemed to roll off her tongue so easily, but they couldn't set in. So many emotions rushed through my body at once, and I couldn't think straight.

Although those were the words that just came out of her mouth, I still thought when we walked backed to the hospital room I would see my dad's big smile. This wasn't the case. His suit was cut up and on the ground, and his shoes were in a plastic bag in the corner. I thought it was somewhat disrespectful. I looked up, and wish I hadn't.

In many movies or shows you see the flat line on a screen, but to see it in real life is heartbreaking. If I could take any moment in life back, it would be looking up to that screen. The sound was off but I could hear the God-awful ringing in my ears. The sight of it still haunts me when I close my eyes as I lay down for bed. Days, weeks, and months passed, but nothing became easier. The whole world seemed to be crashing down around me. Every day I had hoped his Escalade would pull in the driveway and I would wake up from this bad dream.

I let myself go and I changed into a person I didn't like. The way I treated others was different like someone was out to get me. I even changed the little things, like my tone of voice. I felt nothing but pain, and life got hard. Looking back, I wish my eyes could have been more open to the people around me. I am surrounded by amazing people, and I wouldn't have it any other way. My mom has been supportive of me in every way possible, and I'm blessed to have the friends I do. They will stay up late to calm me down, to reassure me that everything is okay, and to tell me that they will always be there for me.

After facing many unfortunate events, I've learned to take everything with a grain of salt and push on. Every day I strive to better myself, internally and externally. A simple smile could make someone's day so much better. I may not be able to change the world, but I can try one day at a time. As I grow into a young woman, I make my decisions hoping to make others proud and know my dad is watching over me. Saying you never know what you had until it's gone may be cliché, but it is so true. Some people take so much for granted, and if they could go back and change things, I know they would.

Losing a parent is the hardest thing to go through in life. People may say they understand, but they really don't unless they have personally gone through it. Every memory is a struggle to think about without being upset. I pray for another day and just one more conversation to say, "I love you". Any moment on Earth could be our last, and I refuse to spend it on bad terms with someone. Tragedies do happen and good things don't always come out of them. There will always be a tiny bit of anger towards God for taking my best friend. I lost my faith and I may never fully return to it. Life isn't perfect and may not always go our way. Through the bad times, you must learn to roll with the punches. These are the truths in life we must face, no matter how badly it hurts.

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