It was just a phase. None of you really ever knew me, but each of you left a little hole in my heart. You changed me and I’ll always be grateful for that because I needed to meet all of you in order to realize who I truly am. My heart has always been fragile and it broke when I realized that none of you loved me. None of you even knew who I was. Now, I know better. I look back on each of you and I understand that we are all just human and sometimes life is messy. I don’t expect anything from any of you, but to at least say hello to me if you see me. I used to be scared to admit the phase I went through with all of you, but I’m not scared anymore.

I know who I am and I know that what happened between us does not define the woman I am. To all my fellow free spirited, perceptive women, just remember that life is going to throw curveballs and sometimes you might not be able to catch them. Sometimes they might hit you right in the gut, and when that happens, remember that you are ten times more special than you think. I used to hate those boys, but not anymore. Now, I understand that I used them to try to make myself feel whole, but that was never the answer. In fact, I wish I could thank each of them for being the reason I reevaluated my life.

College is meant to be a time of searching and I have searched in both the right and wrong places for the love I should’ve found in myself a long time ago. I feel hopeful now that I can move through life stronger than ever. Life is not about waiting for that moment when someone falls in love with you. It is about falling in love with yourself and when the time is right, falling in love with someone else. Once I stepped away from those boys and everything poisonous that I carried in my heart, I felt strong again and they may never know it, but I have them to thank for that.