I believe that first impressions are based off of looks. I was always told that if I carry myself with enough confidence, then people would see that first and not the extra. What's extra?

Well, that's the annoying little pimple that may have formed over night, the fact that your makeup may not be completely blended, but in this case the extra is weight.

I never quite understood why people categorizes weight as an incompetent attribute. In these moments I feel a form of oppression that went beyond factors within my control, it strikes a different part of my core. I had to self-evaluate to understand my position.

I can recollect to the story my dad once told me of how the average baby drinks “8 ounces” of formula but I drank double that amount. Growing up bigger never stopped me from doing the typical after school activities alongside my sisters, such as joining my school's track team, and even signing up to be a cheerleader. But for some reason I would never lose any of the weight, I did not eat more than anyone else, I just burned less.

That is not easy for an elementary school child to understand, I was never treated different, but I looked different. And that was enough to make me stand out. Despite never being bullied for my weight, I had constant internal dialogue about my weight.

“Stef, you would be so pretty if you just lost some weight! Don’t eat so much…”

Attending a small, all-girls’ boarding school is possibly one of the best and worst things to do to a young girl. I myself went to a small all-girls' boarding school.

At the age of 13, I came to this school with the mindset of finding myself. Academically I thrived, as a leader I grew, but socially I struggled. The most difficult part of my story is the one that forces me to come face to face with the girls who perpetrated this painful practice: on other girls.

I never thought there was a problem with the way I looked. When I am home I feel as if I was the prettiest girl around. But at my boarding school, I was never considered pretty enough because I wasn’t the perfect size two, blonde hair, scar free girl they tend to portray. In my school community, bigger — fat —was not considered beautiful.

My East Orange community contains diverse people whose varied skin tones form a rich palette of blackness. In my Jamaican community of East Orange, New Jersey and in my family’s country of Jamaica, I know family members who starve themselves to join the skinny club, and others who eat because they believe the bigger you are the better your life must be. My immediate reaction: Lawd God, yu mad?

As one who always found a sheer silliness in the idea of weight aversion, I decided that I would tackle this challenge by embracing the idea that I would be the best and the most respected plus size girl I could be. But first, I needed to find a way to make my herculean feat possible. In the back of my mind, I could hear my father saying in his patois, “Don’t fret.”

The spring of my Junior year of high school I accomplished something beyond my thoughts as a freshman. I decided to take up Badminton, an underappreciated sport that gives you a major workout. After a yearlong of practices accompanied by sweat and extended hours, the result was an undefeated season at the Varsity level.

My partner and I made it to championships, to represent my school for the winning trophy. During the championship game, Meera and I walked down the halls of the school’s gymnasium as our opponents are instantly sizing us up, literally and physically.

The first encounter said it all, the actions spoke much louder than their words. Snaring glares, and laughter, they must be thinking how did two minority “big girls” make it all the way to the finals?

The game began, the birdie being smashed back and forth across the court. Meera and I strategized our approach moving in synchronized motions to play the most effective. After the three matches, the score is revealed -- we won the game.

Hugging in excitement and breaking out into our happy dance, Meera and I no longer felt like outcasted but felt inspired. Despite being treated unfairly during the game, and for the majority of my life, I was accomplished. I won the championship title for my school.

My response was one of courage that came after large amounts of realization. No, I do not get winded from walking up a flight of stairs and I do not go to the beach and cover myself from head to toe.

My situation only improved the way I viewed myself. I'm now sure in the fact that my body is perfect and it is a continuous cycle that will only be mastered with self-love and self-assurance.