I have always been a fan of the saying that wine fixes everything. I have applied this saying to many of my struggles, and I have to agree; yes wine does make things better. Wine does not judge or betray you nor does it leave you when you need it. Wine is always there when the times get tough and has a flavor for every mood. Wine pairs perfectly with all foods, and it doesn’t matter if you’re wearing sweatpants or a cocktail dress. The classiest of beverages can be enjoyed in front of a television with sweats and fuzzy socks; there’s no judgment there.
Thank you for being there when I am happy/sad/any emotion.
I can drink comfortably knowing that the worst thing I will do after drinking a bottle of wine is maybe I will send my boyfriend a confusing text message at 3 in the morning. I already do that during the day; it won’t make that much of a difference! It pairs great with both tragedy and excitement, meaning that I never have to struggle to find something special for an occasion. Wine is an all occasion kind of beverage. Plus, I will not be getting blackout drunk from drinking a glass or three as I would if I were doing shots of tequila. There is no such thing as regrets when it comes to a bottle of red cat, I promise (except that one time, but we won’t go there).
Thank you for making me feel sophisticated.
Anyone that knows me knows that I am not exactly a picture perfect example of a classy young lady, but a glass of wine sure as hell makes me feel like I am! There is no fancier feeling than getting all dressed up and going to a wine tasting. It makes me feel older and wiser, and it makes me feel as though I am more intelligent. Sure the wine may cloud my judgment a little bit, but hey. Who doesn’t love feeling classy? If you have the opportunity, go to a wine tasting. You will see what I mean.
Thank you for being (kind of) healthy.
There has been plenty of research that has claimed that a glass of wine with dinner is great for your health. Who am I to argue with science? It’s heart healthy, reducing the risk of heart disease and heart attacks. Wine drinkers even have a 34 percent lower mortality rate in comparison to those who drink beer and spirits. Keep drinking friends; it keeps you young! Of course, wine is only healthy in moderation, like most things, so be sure to take care of yourself. Just because the doctor doesn’t ask exactly how big one glass is does not mean that the whole bottle should count (all the time).
While my article is meant to be a good laugh, please keep in mind that alcoholism is a disease and should be taken seriously. Also remember to be safe while drinking, do not operate a vehicle under the influence. Call your parents, a friend; you can even call an Uber. The benefit to calling an Uber is that if it’s a rough ride home, the chances of you seeing them again are super slim, and while your friends and family may get annoyed by having to pick you up they would rather see you make it home safe.
Please drink responsibly.
