If I learned anything in high school, it is that fake friends surround you. And if I learned anything in college, it is that friends you never knew you would make become your best friend.
This isn't an article shaming my two fake "best" friends, aka "Fantastic Four" in high school, but rather a thank you.
As you are now 20 and getting matching tattoos together of Lilo and Stitch, I hope you remember how we were supposed to do that. How we talked about getting a matching heart on our foot, but we're lucky; at least I am, because mine would be the only legitimate one. Yours would just show how cold you are, because you were so fake to me. I came to you about everything. I told you everything that made my mind tired. I trusted you, even when you walked away with two other fake friends, yelling about "I am allowed to have other friends too," yes you are; but not talking to someone for a few months turns into never being in the same hall is a concern of our friendships. Sorry, I meant to say my friendship.
But I thank you because now I choose my decisions wisely when it comes to permanent things. I know who to talk to and what about. I never trust any new friends, and I keep everything to myself even more. Now, when someone walks away I run after them...to open the door for them.
To the other part of your Lilo, yeah the" best friend" who just showed up randomly in my life, and became a wild friend who is down for drinking and watching Disney, and lets me swim in her pool as I order us pizza. Thank you for showing me that even the nicest people can be the fakest. My pride is the only thing I am known for, and I have to lower it for a quick moment to write out that you really let me down. You were so kind to me. So goofy and someone who didn't complain about anything. You kept everything to yourself, and I respected that because I too was the same way. However, that's not always forever I suppose. Oh, also quick note before I become soft again, about how you both treated me with fakeness, the babysitting excuse...yeah it's too old now. Try to spice things up a bit, ey governor?
You are just like the other friend whom your matching tattoos with. Liar. Let downers. Fake. I may sound angry writing this, but that is just my pride saying don't let shit get to you. However, you both got to me, by letting me down. By lying to me. By excluding me after years of friendship. By blocking me on social media.
Did I do something wrong for the one who I trusted the most, to tell me she can't attend a movie after weeks of planning, yet she is posting pictures with her best friends how great that movie was?
Did I do something wrong for the one who was kind to me, when I asked her weeks in advance to just hang out hell, even do Yoga in the Park or maybe going kayaking, yet she is expressing on Snapchat how kayaking with her sister was fun that day? Definitely looked like babysitting to me.
Did I do something wrong to both of you to just walk away and pretend you don't see me in the hallway? Did I do something wrong for the both of you to collect a new friend group, and when asked who was that blonde girl in your band picture I am suddenly "I don't really know, she sits next to me in band."
No. I did nothing wrong. I listened to your problems. I took care of both of you when you drank too much. I always kept planning, even though I knew you wouldn't show. I respected that you were religious, even though I didn't believe in god. I remorsed when your father died, because I know how bad you felt.
You not only hurt me, but you hurt my matching stitch, however we were smart enough to match jackets, not permanent ink.
You, "second part of lilo and stitch tattoo," the kind one. You let her down more than anything. When I wasn't around, you were there for her. Now you never answer her calls. You never asked about her when she wasn't around. You didn't care she invited you to camp with us, because you were "too busy."
Did you suddenly drop her because she didn't like your matching tattoo friend? Yes. Yes you did.
Because we were real friends who realized both of your bullshit after a few years of dealing with it and once we called it loud and clear, you're "too busy" suddenly.
But I need to thank you. Both of you made me realize that the people you talk to. The people who are kind. The people who make you feel at ease, are the ones who won't stick around. They'll find new people to go camping with. New people to go to DC with. New people...
For that, I thank you because now when I make new friends, I choose them wisely. I can smell bullshit. I see everything. I never let someone just tear me down and make me think it is my fault. I always keep my ground.
As for matching jacket, she is doing alright. Finally doing her thing without a care in the world. She's anything but quiet, and that's exceptional because she grew to voice her opinion and that's something she couldn't do around you two.
So thank you for being fake, because I can see who the real friends are. I won't miss our times on the band bus. Or the camping trip (although Katy Perry should shut up). I won't miss being drunk and hiding booze, and swimming at 1 a.m. in your pool. I won't miss ranting about everything as we fail to realize we should be playing our instruments.
Now when I come back to this hometown of ours, I never look for you two in a crowd or at McDonald's. I could care less about what use to be or how your life is now. If I see either of you two, I pretend we never knew each other. Never slept together in a hot tent. Never watched horror movies together. Never talked about life together, our aspirations. None of that exists to me or my matching jacket, because you no longer matter to us.
Thank you for bringing me and my matching jacket together, because we were the two realest people in our friend group. To that, I sit down with my pride, play some Cher and smoke a Swisher in salute to the only friend who is true. As cold hearted as her and I both became, this is needed to be said to you two fakes; not only a thank you, but fuck you.